Published on 12, July, 2020
How do you maintain friendships?
For the first time in my life at 45 I've made real friends. Bonus points they are all ND!
I'm struggling with the amount of contact. In my case it's a family, made friends with the cat, the horse, the dog first (obviously! ) then the mum (because the cat went missing) and son (11) followed by adult daughter (20) and mum's new partner.
They all want to talk to me and I've never had that before. Lots of texting and we've established a daily routine accidentally where I stop at her house most days when I'm walking my dog.
Does anyone have any tips? I don't want to do my usual if getting overwhelmed and running away especially as mum has a health concern right now, but the rest of the family are coming to me for support (including her mum) and it's hard going for me.
First post so if I did something wrong please say
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:Animals are easier
And often my escape when I have to visit a house full of people
The animals just wanna spread their love. I even get hugs from the horse, he puts his head on my shoulder. The dog knows when I'm coming and barks differently (excitedly) and the cat follows me and my dog when we are walking .
The people, well people largely talk about their problems lol. Animals are easier!
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:made friends with the cat, the horse, the dog first
Max has left the platform (them/they) said:They all want to talk to me
Cool! What do the cat, dog and horse talk to you about?
I would be honest with them. Im sure they will understand x
This is exactly how I can be sometimes with my own family.
You're reacting naturally. You have nothing to doubt yourself on, look at the positives you're doing exceptionally well.
It's ok for you need to take a break though. You can't be there for people all the time. You need some "You" time as well. So if you need to step back that's absolutely fine. You can tell the people around you that you need to do this and I'm sure they will understand.
You've not done anything wrong. :)
I'm glad you've found that community. I hope you feel comfortable enough to open up to them if it gets overwhelming.
I'm sure they'd understand if you had some needs such as wanting a bit of time to yourself.