Published on 12, July, 2020
When it was first suggested to me that I might be autistic I began watching various autistic influencers on YouTube and read books by similar people.
But one glaring thing stuck out for me, and I’ve just come across another example. Specifically, these influencers without exception seem to be married, be in a relationship, have children.
And yet for me the single most life-ruining aspect of my condition is my utter inability to form relationships. It’s like everyone else has telepathy and I don’t. I thought this was one of the defining characteristics of autism.
So are these high profile authors and videographers representative of autistic people or am I the sad exception?
I don’t watch a lot of YouTube or follow on socials anymore. I did around the time I was looking into being diagnosed so I could see if I had any obvious traits.
But when I joined this forum, I actually thought the same as you. I was really surprised how many were in a relationship, long term even more surprised.
I have adult kids now, but that was from a DV relationship (my first relationship). I left when my kids were very young and raised them alone. Occasionally the loneliness would get to me and I’d join dating sites. I had the odd relationship here and there but I wasn’t very good at it. Unable to say the L word, don’t like to hold hands, hug and all of that yuck stuff. Eventually I’d push them away, none of them lasted more than a year. I gave up around 18 years ago and haven’t attempted to go there again. I live a fairly solitude life so I’m never going to randomly meet someone.
But I don’t like the idea of growing old alone, and it would be nice to find that person that understands me, and I them.
Having watched my parents’ decline in old age I know that growing old alone just isn’t feasible and yet the only other option I have is not to grow old.
Ah okay, well you have edited your reply to remove the ‘lol’ - now it has a whole new meaning…
If you decide not to grow old, then you’ll never know if you would have met that someone to grow old with. And this is coming from someone that has been very, very close to not growing old a few times in the past. Situations in life change, your perspective on life changes.
Not what I meant
Either will do