Published on 12, July, 2020
When it was first suggested to me that I might be autistic I began watching various autistic influencers on YouTube and read books by similar people.
But one glaring thing stuck out for me, and I’ve just come across another example. Specifically, these influencers without exception seem to be married, be in a relationship, have children.
And yet for me the single most life-ruining aspect of my condition is my utter inability to form relationships. It’s like everyone else has telepathy and I don’t. I thought this was one of the defining characteristics of autism.
So are these high profile authors and videographers representative of autistic people or am I the sad exception?
I don't think there's a "representative" autistic person or people. Autism presents in wildly different ways in different individuals. I think influencers in particular are a self-selected group with survivorship bias: the people who are willing/able to talk about their autism and offer life tips are mostly those who are doing well. I've noticed on this site that some people who post here have jobs, some have relationships and families, some have friends, but few have all three. I think most of us suffer some kind of "social disability" in that way.
I am married, but I think I got lucky, or was blessed. It came about by chance, and suffered many setbacks before we got married. My previous attempts at relationships were mostly failures. I didn't go on a date until I was 27. I got married two months short of my 40th birthday, when I thought I would be single forever.
You were blessed Luftmensch
I have a wife I am not worthy of Why she puts up with me is a mystery to me. Years ago my first wife just walked away.There is still hope for you!
My only avenue to meet other humans was via work and that ended when the pandemic changed my job to remote working.
I think this is why all my problems became so much worse over the last three years - I finally gave up any pretence of hope.