Autistic “influencers”

When it was first suggested to me that I might be autistic I began watching various autistic influencers on YouTube and read books by similar people.

But one glaring thing stuck out for me, and I’ve just come across another example. Specifically, these influencers without exception seem to be married, be in a relationship, have children.

And yet for me the single most life-ruining aspect of my condition is my utter inability to form relationships. It’s like everyone else has telepathy and I don’t. I thought this was one of the defining characteristics of autism.

So are these high profile authors and videographers representative of autistic people or am I the sad exception?

Parents
  • I did the same when I realised I’m autistic, I watched a lot of YouTube videos and felt really connected. To be honest I did learn a lot about how differently autism can present. 
    I did message one of the well known ones, thanked her and just asked how she first realised she was autistic, I got a message back stating that she doesn’t do unpaid consultancy work, a link came up with her latest merchandise, the penny then dropped. 
    I’m autistic and married, my wife was my only girlfriend, starting to realise, she stims and masks as much as me. We often have the same thoughts at the same time. It’s not always easy, we both often need time to be alone.

  • Yes, I am very suspicious of a lot of these people. They’re constantly doing speaking engagements and pushing their books. It’s a business.

  • Yes lots of autistic people make a business out of making content about autistic experience and online advocacy.

    Isn’t it a good thing if our fellow neurokin are actually delivering autistic lived experience advice as opposed to harmful ‘Autism’ experts? I certainly think it is and it is something I would like to do in the future.

    We are experts on our autistic experiences, we should be celebrating our fellow autistic content creators and advocates!

  • Hi Amerantin.  On meetup.com there are also other local groups but people from other parts of the country can join in. I go on Adults With Autism West Midlands and people from other areas can join the meetings. I have also been on international ones which have been good. Give you info if you want.  Take Care

  • You are very welcome!

    I hope this Aucademy group interests you, it is AUsome!

  • I joined the Glasgow Autism group on Meetup.com but it has over 500 members and their meet-ups are limited to 12 people so it’s always full

    That’s a shame. I know you are worried about intruding in this group but I hardly think so! Your fellow neurokin should be welcoming and accepting of new members, after all you are all autistic so everyone should be aware of feelings of isolation and initial anxiety!

    Anyway I find the idea of walking through the door at one of these groups incredibly daunting.

    I completely understand what you mean!

    I am a member of the Aucademy autistic social group chat, there are lots of members but you can just observe the chat if that feels more comfortable for you.

    Every 2 weeks a Zoom social group is held with only about 12 members and there is no pressure to participate at all!

    Does this kind of group appeal to you?

    There are more details below:

    https://aucademy.co.uk/aucademy-autistic-only-closed-groups/

  • I joined the Glasgow Autism group on Meetup.com but it has over 500 members and their meet-ups are limited to 12 people so it’s always full. I worry that if i somehow got a place at one it would turn out to always be the same people who go and I’d just be intruding in their social group.

    My previous therapist also tried to get me to join Andy’s Man’s group but the way she positioned it was as a group where sad broken people can complain to each other. She was a terrible therapist. Anyway I find the idea of walking through the door at one of these groups incredibly daunting.

  • Sorry you feel so lonely, I hope this community provides you with some much needed connection? Would you feel comfortable joining autistic social groups either online or in person?

  • I would agree but it seems my lived experience is not like any influencer I’ve seen.

    It makes my blood boil when I hear people talking about loneliness then mentioning their husband or wife and children. They have no idea.

Reply Children