Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is now 16 but we have had several years of trouble with school mainly ended up taking her out to home school her numerous other problems
Just recently going down the diagnosis route which has made me look hard at my own life I am not diagnosed but all my research tells me I am Autistic myself.
I am now 58 and split from my wife who does'nt understand either of us it explains a lot of how my life has been and still is I find I fully understand my daughter when she tells me how she feels which is a blessing but I keep thinking is it my fault did she inherit it from me I guess I am asking does it run in the family inherited if you will
Richard said:I fully understand my daughter when she tells me how she feels which is a blessing but I keep thinking is it my fault did she inherit it from me I guess I am asking does it run in the family inherited if you will
It is genetic, yes, but I don't think there's anything to feel bad about. You didn't know, and there are far worse things to be than autistic!
If anything, I would say that it just puts you in the very good position of understanding your daughter very well, as you yourself have noticed. That's a really good thing, and not every autistic person can say that somebody understands them that well.
Richard, you're certainly right to put your daughter first, but don't forget yourself entirely; your turn will come later.
Oh yes, I know all about 'shut up and get on with it', I've heard that or something similar many times.
Ben
Richard said:I guess I am asking does it run in the family inherited if you will
There is about an 80% probablility that an autistic parent will pass on the genes thought to be responsible to their offspring, but the extent to which it will affect them is hugely variable.
Since you were not diagnosed (assuming you are actually autistc) when you conceived then there can be no blame on you - you were not aware so you cannot be considered to have done it knowingly. Blaming yourself is pointless as it helps no-one.
You can test online to get a decent idea if you are actually autistic - have a look at:
https://www.thevividmind.org/blog/test/autism-test-online/
It is free and confidential so at the end only you know and can decide if there is anything you want to do with the info.
If I was in your shoes then I would use the info to learn more about autism and start to make an improvement in your own circumstances and your daughters - knowledge is power after all.
Just remember that in the worst case it is the fault of your genes, not you (as in a decision you made) so please don't beat yourself up over it - that really is pointless.
Thanks for the reply not sure I am strong enough at the moment to get myself diagnosed, Concentrating on my daughter at the moment she has her whole life ahead of her,
I to have anxiety listed as main suspect as well as the depression to the faults in my life
Not sure about you but just being told to shut up and get on with it from all around you including doctors did'nt help much I HOPE I can do better for my daughter
Hello Richard, welcome to the forum.
I believe that autism does run in some families, I feel sure my late mother was on the spectrum, but I don't blame her; we can't be held personally responsible for carrying an inheritable condition.
I was diagnosed three years ago at the age of 67 after nearly a lifetime of difficulties and misunderstanding, repeatedly being diagnosed with anxiety. I wish I could have known earlier, but am just thankful that I know now. Knowledge has brought relief.