Struggles with PDA

It appears that the older I get, the worse I get with regards to being told what to do. I mean, it varies; if one of my parents tells me to do something, I often respond pretty badly. I feel really angry and frustrated and feel like I want to lash out at them in a way that actively hurts them. Or hurts me.

I have spoken to my therapist about PDA and she understands it as she deals with the same thing.

I can get defensive sometimes. I don't say it, obviously, but on the inside it builds up. I've had people on social media tell me what to do and it's like "you don't know anything about me, how dare you" and I didn't ask for advice in that instance either.

I think it feels like a loss of control, like I can't do anything right.