Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone, my name is Sophie and I was diagnosed Autistic 2 weeks ago (21 years old).
I've worked with Autistic children previously and was always able to understand what they need based on their behaviours but to do this for myself seems impossible.
I pick at my nails and skin constantly, even if I have fidgets available and can get lost in this for up to an hour or two at times. It's also how I seem to regulate and calm myself to fall asleep. I've tried replacing it but it feels both demanding and unfulfilling to use something that doesn't offer the same feedback.
Another common stim is rocking but to do so can be painful at times due to the repetition. However it's more painful if I supress it!
I can't tell whether I'm over or understimulated or which sensory feedback I'm looking for at any given time.
Does anyone have any advice on how to understand their behaviours or needs?
It's hard because we (well, certainly me anyway) may not know what we're struggling with until after we've been through it, or until someone else points it out to us.
I didn't realise that I seemed uncomfortable or that I was making things worse for myself until I spoke about it with my therapist. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what.
I do a lot of rocking, particularly if I'm sat at my computer and doing a video call with someone. I don't want to suppress it but I think nerves exacerbate it.
Absolutely, it's so difficult to figure it out!