Struggles with ambiguity

I imagine this is a common one for autistics, but I think I've tended to downplay just how torturous it can be. Not knowing where someone's head is at but them not telling you, and you not feeling like you can ask because you're being difficult (and you've asked already).

I've had friends disappear for a while and I have dealt with it in different ways. Sometimes I'm able to just leave them alone for a while knowing that they're probably busy, while other times I cope quite badly and end up sending them far too many messages, which can make the situation worse. 

I feel guilty. While I'm hoping that the person is okay, I'm thinking "Is it because of me? Seemingly they're not comfortable talking to me and it's my fault". Even if someone turns around and says "I don't feel comfortable around you anymore", I'd much rather that than them not telling me, and unfortunately I often only find out after I ask them outright (which I also hate doing).

I do often forget that I'm autistic and my brain just doesn't work the same as a fully neurotypical person. I can't read minds and I can't pick up on these unwritten rules. I just don't know how to manage that because I feel like I'm coming across as a bit of a tosser if I ask for accommodations in that regard.