Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I’m a partner of a 49 year old male who was diagnosed a couple of years ago. He’s highly fuctional but I’m wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing. May partner seems to want a discussion on everything for ages. For example, the latest one is, our daughter who is 10 no longer wants to go back to Cubs after the summer break. I see that has a normal thing as kids grow, they change interests with different things. However, my partner has to analysis what reasons. My partner is fixed on commitment- all or nothing! I get so frustrated. I know it’s how he sees things but if I want to change my mind, even the little things he gets upset and we end up arguing. I’m dyslexic so I want to describe things well to get my point over but I struggle find the right language. Basically he likes to challenge decisions based on commitment. The thing is it how he need to unpick everything even when me and our daughter don’t see it as a big deal. We just spent a hour talking about her quitting cubs and part of that was her other hobbies.
Analysis is part and parcel of being autistic. My world is CONSTANT analysis of everything around me. I understand the world in detail and need "whys". I have difficulty with inconsistencies. I stick by my word and find it very difficult when others don't. I have been known to bring unimportant things up from years ago because my other half now has a different opinion. He can't even remember what he initially said. I've worked on this and am more accepting that people are allowed change their minds (as i do). I find change of trajectory different in MANY aspects of my life. You both maybe need to work on meeting in the middle in a kind way. Sorry this doesn't provide answers but I wanted to share my experience.
Thank you for sharing. It helps to know we not on our own. I believe in balance. X