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Sleep deprived, lethargic, can't function as normal

Hope

 

Bad lighting and drunken students at night are both disturbing my sleep. Consquently I feel angry and run-down on a regular basis.

Quite simply I am getting to the point now where, despite liking my flat in all other respects, I want to move. The noise is getting too much for me to bear.

However, how do I approach such a big issue with my parents? They spent months preparing me for the move to my current flat, and they hink this flat is the best thing that has ever happened to me. If I broach the subject of me moving I very much suspect that my parents would get very stressed, and would come out with glib remarks such as that I would not find anywhere better, you would be foolish to move etc.

Right now I feel very unhappy, and my anxiety levels are higher than normal. My ears ache from pressing them hard to block out the noise, and I am constantly experiencing sensory bombardment.

I am 26 years and can't move on with my life while I get no sleep. My work is suffering, too, and I have had to miss important meetings.

Feel really unhappy.

  • There seems to be a universal problem getting sensible accommodation for people on the spectrum. Unfortunately there is so little guidance to professionals about sensory issues, resultant stress and overload.

    I don't know whether the flat you are in was allocated for disabled support or is just a flat for a single person. But flats are always problemmatic because they crowd people together, often without good wall thickness/sound insulation between flats, and the surroundings of multi-occupation complexes always have large numbers of people moving around them at all times of the day.

    Flat dwellers are often the younger end, unless its an area with flats for the elderly. Young people have a taste for partying, congregating and loud music. They may also be just starting families, so have crying babies or screaming toddlers in a confined space.

    You've got people maybe two or three sides of you and above and below, and people have to move around in narrow corridors and noisy stairwells. Being in a flat by a stairwell, common hall or a lift can be bad for noise. I once had a room next to a communal utility room which had a permently connected iron on a timer, and I could hear the thing ticking through the wall - maddening. Sound travels down walls and along floors so sometimes the source can be several rooms away rather than next door.  I remember complaining to a neighbour about loud music, which I eventually discovered was someone a floor above across a landing and to one side - my neighbour was playing Bach - very quietly, so as not to upset me.

    The ideal for someone on the spectrum is detached or semi-detached where atleast the bedrooms don't share a neighbouring wall. But for those the rent, or homeshare or ownership is higher, or you have to compromise - antisocial estates, estates with lots of young families. Or the housing is cheap build with paper thin walls.

    With housing provided for the disabled often the little bungalows are prioritised for wheelchair users or blind, and the more mobile, irrespective of suitability, are offered flats.

    You may therefore find it difficult to get anything else. I think it would be unfortunate just to quit and go back to living with your parents.

    One option is to provide your own white noise. This doesn't have to be loud, just background music that you can live with, but which doesn't require you to listen closely to it, and which will help blur out external noise. Also look into the options for ear protection. I know you've said it is hard to sleep with such things but there's a lot of technnology out there, and the problem is well known for all sorts of reasons (including people on shift work who have to sleep in daytime). Have you tried listening to music on headphones some of the evening so as to reduce stress before bed.

    Try to get out more. Is there somewhere near you can go to easily just for a change of scene?  Not being in the flat all your non-work time does add to the stress, particularly as you will feel there is no escape. Getting outside regularly can be liberating.

    Again for the same reasons as shift workers etc., you can get consultants in to assess your flat and suggest some easy changes. If you have noise from an ajacent flat along one wall you can get baffles to go against the wall behind shelves or a cupboard. Sometimes the type of furniture can better adjust external noise.

    So don't give up on independent living....

  • I think the only option is to forget the guilt and speak honestly to your parents.  Perhaps write them a heartfelt letter about it to allow them time to absorb the impact it has on you, before having a conversation.