Published on 12, July, 2020
I hate having ASD. I’ve found no positives with it at all. No matter how hard I try to move forward it feels like ASD, me, knocks me back several steps when I try to go forward by one. Nobody likes me. I’ve tried being myself. I’ve tried masking, I’m not good at masking and I guess that must show. I make people uncomfortable. Half the time it feels like my family don’t like me much, I try to be a nice person, kind, supportive. And yet here I am at 27 single, no friends and just here existing on the journey of life. I tried working, again. Disaster, again. I always start off OK but eventually it’s like everything catches up with me, I get tired, and I mean very tired. Fatigue like nothing I’ve had before. Muscles hurt. Nausea, dizziness, mouth ulcers... WTF? I go to the GP, tests are ran... I’m fine. Seriously right now?? How am I fine lol I feel like sh*t 98% of the time. Guess it’s just an ASD thing. I get pretty bad anxiety so that’s probably it as well, so my GP says anyway, OK fair enough but like they can’t offer any advice on how best to tackle it. It’s a lonely world having ASD. I’m 27 and this is my LIFE, possibly for another year, maybe 50+ more years... right now it’s OK, I have my parents, my sister and brothers but one day they won’t be here anymore and then it’s me. What then? I can’t work, OK I can, but until my body ceases up and that’s bad, very bad it costs me every job I’ve had so far... when I was 13 I dreamt by now I would be working, have kids, be married, be driving... I’ve not got any of that. I’ve never come close to any of it, people hate me and I mean HATE. Even my brothers and sister don’t like me. My parents do, I’m lucky from that side of things but everyone else really dislikes me. My sister said I sponge off our parents, not true, I’m trying to work I have given it my all but my sister accuses me of faking illness so I stay home... not true... I am trying my hardest to overcome the ASD hurdles but not had any success so far. Guess I feel a little lost now, that’s why I thought I would join this site see if anyone can help me overcome all this because right now I have no idea what to do to get over this.
Sparkles said:I get tired, and I mean very tired. Fatigue like nothing I’ve had before.
That statement resonated with me. In the past I use to stand at my workbench shattered with tiredness. My GP asked "how do you sleep" OK, I responded as far as I was aware. My wife is a light sleeper and I was awakening her very frequently in my own --- what I thought---normal sleep pattern. I would frequently stop breathing in my sleep ending in and explosive gasping for air. My GP said I have a condition of obstructive sleep apnea, and refered me to a sleep study centre 40 years ago. I have since slept well. You report several other issues but is this a possible contributing issue for you?