Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I am new here so sorry if I have missed a post with this info in. I am a 46 yr old woman and I need some help and advice for my 85 year old Dad.
My 11 yr old nephew has ASD and ADHD. My sister and I have noticed that our Dad has many similar traits to my nephew and Dad also sees it. Dad has told us that when he was younger he knew he was different and so went to a bookshop to try to find a book that would help explain this but couldn't. Books are the thing he trusts in the most.
Sadly our Mum died in December and she was Dad's buffer in the world and she spent the last few months of her life trying to organise things to make it easier for him. We knew this but not just how much. Dad is super bright (2 degrees, speaks multiple languages, had a professional career) but struggles so much with day to day stuff. We have just about got him a routine that works at home but it's really challenging and he needs us to support with everything outside of eat, sleep, wash, go to pre planned regular activity type stuff. He is now so very anxious and gets totally overwhelmed by things that used to give him joy - like gardening, as he didn't decide what to do he just followed Mum's instructions.
I wondered if there is a really good book, the more intellectual and technical the better, about ASD that we could find for him to read. In part so he can better understand what is happening with his grandson but also as part of a conversation that we need to have with him about his own needs.
Thank you!
Cool. Good luck with disclosing your autistic identity. This video below might give you some more tips:
Disclosing your autistic identity:
https://youtu.be/Sq82fb7NROY
I hope this helps!
The suggestions for reasonable accommodations and examples of when they might be useful- I've been considering disclosing at work so it was good to get some ideas of what to discuss if I do.
So did I, I highlighted several sections because I found it helpful. I particularly liked Luke Beardon’s golden equation. What parts did you find most helpful?
Ausomely Autistic said:Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults
Seconding this one, I found it really helpful.
I agree! I particularly like how he describes his aversion to small talk.
What is your favourite part of the book?
You are very welcome! Good luck on your autistic discovery journey!
The Hobbit is an inspiring read.
Thanks for this list, I'll be picking some of these up for myself. I'm always looking to gain my knowledge on my ASD.
Just adding, you might pick it up cheaper on Ebay.
Hi. Give this book a try - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autistic-Brain-Temple-Grandin/dp/1846044499/ref=asc_df_1846044499/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=311004742540&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12988527788387023208&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045378&hvtargid=pla-464206952586&psc=1&th=1&psc=1
The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin and Richard Panek. I've read this book, I found it an enlightening experience, and comforting as it helped me understand myself and the condition better when I was first diagnosed.
It's an invaluable book for me and I would recommend for anyone with ASD, and family members with ASD to buy it.
Untypical by Peter Wharmby is fantastic. It is available on Audible.
You are so welcome! I could list more but I don’t want to overload you with information.
I hope these books help your dad on his autistic discovery journey!
Thank you, that's so helpful, especially as they're online and I can immediately take a look.
Oh wow! Thank you, that is a real reading list! I will see which ones I can find
Very many thanks. These all sound great and I suspect they will help me too
Ha! Nephew loves the Hobbit. Dad read it to us as kids. Thank you for the textbook I will take a look at that one
NAS88531 said:I wondered if there is a really good book, the more intellectual and technical the better, about ASD that we could find for him to read.
I would start with:
Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara (2014)ISBN 9781849054331
Maybe review a high level book on the subject:
Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)ISBN 0764525476
And to dig deeper if he is still interested:
Autism, A New Introduction to Psychological Theory and Current Debate - Sue Fletcher-Watson_Franceska Happé (2019)ISBN 9781138106123The Autistic Brain - Thinking Across the Spectrum - Temple Grandin, Richard Panek (2013)ISBN 9780547636450
play.google.com/.../reader
https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=ElkpEAAAQBAJ&pg=GBS.PT43.w.0.1.105_106
Any of these would be a good start.
‘The hobbit’ for the nephew I mean..
The textbook I recommend for the dad..