Performance Review at work. The very thought of it is stressing me out. Any Tips

Jalapeno said:

I recall someone who said, when they works from home, that before work they would go for a walk (their virtual commute) and after work do the same (virtual commute) again

This is a good call. I would pack stuff away, close my spare room door then go to the bathroom, wash my hands and face as it washing off the work day, brush teeth and spruce myself up then go and make a start on cooking dinner for my wife.

Good luck with the other work changes - I would suggest setting a reminder in your calendar (recurring) for this as it has a habbit of being pushed back by more urgent matters.

Hi Iain, your advice is a great help

My boss has been on leave this week - and I've not managed to get through the list, although not sure I was ever expected to tbh, but managed to tick off some

Agree that these issues existed before and are separate to my diagnosis and any adjustments I will need...so I'll will need to point this out clearly and ask that they separate the two, but addressing those existing conditions will in no doubt alleviate some of my anxieties, which to me is the worse aspect of my Autism currently.

So yes everyone should benefit with some of the changes you suggest not just there for me.

I'm going to talk to a local support group first regarding any workplace support, as I don't have the confidence to speak up right now, but the sooner it gets resolved the better.  However I will have to do it alone, if the firm bring it up.  Not sure if "access to work" is any good or something I should look into ?

Lastly - will take on board the the rituals for ending the day including next day actions, especially as working from home the work + home aren't physically separated:  I recall someone who said, when they works from home, that before work they would go for a walk (their virtual commute) and after work do the same (virtual commute) again - and that the walks helped separate the two.  I think I just need to pack away my work phone, laptop and note pads into the cupboard so I'm not reminded when I using the office for pleasure (be great if I had a separate room but I don't) and must avoid checking messages and be more firm with pulling the plug at say 5:50pm each evening without exception (well at least not make it regular or normal)

Hi Wib

Yes I worry the review can be loaded by your line manager before you attend, depending if they have an agenda, they could find faults and focus on them e.g. what you haven't done, rather than what you have. 

30 years ago , my first job after uni, I remember a manager taking a folder into his appraisal with the head of the department, we got on, and as advice ahead of my first annual review, he told me to print off any emails with positive feedback, he then said he would counter act his usual "sh*t sandwich" appraisal by pulling out a print-out for each negative he was pulled up for.

I've regularly found my worries on the weeks that run-up to my review actually never materialized.  Why I can't still approach them without this ?, I will raise at my next therapy session.

I relate to this so much. Performance reviews or any sort of typical meeting like them at work create so much stress for me. Wish I could give advice about this but sadly it’s still a big stressor for me. I always just feel like I’m in trouble or something daft like that.

Jalapeno said:

My manager and I are both feeling the workload in our small team, and last year was all hands on deck for both of us. But all the effort we put in last year seems to have led to a request for extra resource being turned down.

My approach would be to agree a strategy with your boss where your team need to start to let some things fail in order for the lack of resources be identified as needing to be addressed.

I've over-performed time and again to save the team from disaster, doing my work as a manager and some of the teams work too so we can avoid failing, but the longer you can perform miracles the more you will be expected to do them.

Have the blunt conversation in a team meeting. Try to decide what needs to be allowed to fail so the most critical stuff gets done and maybe something impacting upper management fails.

The team need to have their time recording airtight and not be be see slacking so your boss is protected, and once the higher management feel the pain of it and have it demonstrated that it is down to lack of resource then the funding will magically appear.

The time recording needs to reflect what tasks you are spending your time on, down to the nearest 15 mins. It needs to be very granular and ideally through some sort of reporting app which is a ballache for the team but believe me, it pays off.

Jalapeno said:

Work worries do currently spill over into the weekend

I used to have a little ritual as I left the office, closing off that part of the day, making notes on what I need to deal with the next day then I don't touch it until the following morning.

That change of mindset making outside the office "my space" and free of the pressures of work was so liberating. It takes some discipline not to look at emails but you will get the hang of it.

Building that new balance with the support of your manager and hopefully colleagues should benefit them as well as you in the long run. Your manager needs to do most of the effort to get everyone on board but the benefit will be for them too in the long run.

Thanks, Iain !

Really appreciate your detailed reply and thoughts on performance reviews, plus the advice on handling the workload.

A few of my goals got pushed to this year, which was fine. My manager and I are both feeling the workload in our small team, and last year was all hands on deck for both of us. But all the effort we put in last year seems to have led to a request for extra resource being turned down.

I’ll definitely need to speak up for myself more, to make sure things stay manageable. I was asked to be more independent last month, but I think I’ll need some adjustments in workload, priorities, and deadlines going forwards.  So maybe that resource decision may need reviewing again

My diagnosis could be a good chance to look at my work and maybe drop or change some low-priority tasks. I haven’t taken a day-off sick in almost 3 years, not even just to take stock after my diagnosis.

I track my hours on my timesheet (so my hours are visible to all) and work from home, which means it’s unfortunately easier to put in extra hours in front of the screens. I do make sure to take a full lunch break with a walk. I turn off notifications after hours, though I admit I sometimes do check in the evening (I need to stop this - think its a hangover from Blackberry days).

I’m still figuring out who should know about my diagnosis and how to handle it with the team, company and clients.  For the moment the mask remains firmly in place.

Work worries do currently spill over into the weekend, but I try to relax with wine, movies, and now some Autism education/reading, reviewing my therapy notes and even asking ChatGPT for its thoughts

Jalapeno said:

last year workload triumphed over ticking off the goals

I would ask your manager if they consider the workload to be unreasonable therefore affecting your ability to achieve the goals they had set with you last year.

Push the responsibility back onto them as they are ultimately the gatekeeper of your workload. Chances are they can't change it but by flagging it up as not your responsibility then it will not reflect badly on you.

Ask them how they can regulate the workload to a healthy balance so that ANYTHING beyond day to day survival can be achieved. If they say it is up to you to manage it then my approach would be to say that you will then choose what to de-prioritise to be able to achieve the objectives, starting with weekly reports, meetings and other non critical tasks.

This is a reasonable ask but one they will freak out at and there is a good chance they may agree to a more structured time plan for these non-critical activities.

You need to become good at using this time well, planning ahead so you can offload work or reschedule it in order to start at the alloted hour.

I worked for a long time as a manager and can confirm that the performance reviews are primarily there to give an illusion of effort based reward. In reality the rewards are pre-set long before the reviews so your dept gets the same amount to share out if you do excellently of below average.

A lot of the distrubution is down to cronyism (hence why they have the rule that you are not allowed to discuss pay with your colleagues) although a decent manager will try to be even handed. Their manager will often over-ride this and share more to their personal favourites as I have witnessed on many occassions.

In my opinion it just isn't worth busting your gut for a company - do what is needed within the hours contracted, smile and give regular reporting / feedback and don't upset anyone in order to just earn your pay.

Forget performance bonuses - they are largely going to happen so long as you don't mess up and don't really reflect the effort you put in.

Find that work - life balance that helps you survive and just treat it as a way to pay the bills so you have energy enough to enjoy life outside of work.

Oh and when it comes to workload, just track your time carefully and be able to report on what task are taking up the time each week. If you get pushed to work harder then ask your manager for their opinion on which tasks that you do now should be dropped as you cannot give the company more time for free - it is not in your contract.

If they say it is your responsibility then document what you choose to do, communicate it with them and make it clear (without saying the words) that the workload exceeds your time capacity to do. This will help them justify more headcount if nothing else and should shut them up about making you work harder.

Just don't be seen to sit about chatting and being non productive outside of lunch breaks as they may see it as you slacking. Take your full lunch break away from your desk too - tell the team when you leave so you can prove you only took your alloted hour and it will help you recharge away from phone / emails etc.

I would also switch my work phone off after hours unless contracted to be on call - don't give them any of your time for free just to keep the focus on working hours. If it is your personal phone then close the work email app.

i've worked in a lot of corporates over the years and they are basically all the same in relation to performance reviews. Start-ups are different until they get big enough for a full time HR dept then it starts to go downhill.

These are just my views on the performance review situaiton.

I have my annual goal setting coming up

Out of interest has anyone had any success with reasonable adjustments on the annual review process itself ?  last year workload triumphed over ticking off the goals, but workload pressure Jan-Dec was largely what pushed me to the assessment

I do wonder why such goals seem to carry more in terms of the scoring an employees performance (and ultimately how much bonus) than the output (volume & quality) - for only the scores to probably get normalised and so not really relate to performance except for those few deemed to be at either end of the scoring scale

BTW - am recent late diagnosed (last month) so feel I have a fair share on my plate this year without the review: which to me can appear subjective

What are your views on performance reviews?

GPK26 said:

Others were less tangible and I struggled a bit there, but also recognised that if there isn't a specific number or achievement such as pass exam X, then I wouldn't be held to account as much.

You can simply say that because the objectives that are intangible are not SMART then they have no place in the review.

Anything that is not very tangible can be twisted in the event the company are unhappy with you, so use their own methodology and say "if it isn't SMART then I don't feel comfortable in having it in there. It may resuly in having a lot fewer objectives but that isn't a bad thing.

Remember to schedule 3 monthly reviews yourself of progress as we are often all guilty of forgetting about this stuff and letting them slide.

My first time posting as well 

I had this exact situation today - despite knowing well in advance, I had done no prep work for my half year performance review....mistake #1!

So I set about pulling up my goals for the year which were agree on at the start of the year.
Some of the goals were quite straight forward and measurable - eg complete 12 projects this year, we have completed 6,so a little behind schedule, but not a biggie.
Others were less tangible and I struggled a bit there, but also recognised that if there isn't a specific number or achievement such as pass exam X, then I wouldn't be held to account as much.

Review time comes and I meet with my [fantastic] boss who is well aware of my mental health struggles. We spoke openly and honestly, and time flew by. There was recognition of what I have achieved and there was no criticism....all went well.

So it's not a big deal then? WRONG!

In fact it turns out that many people hate the whole review process- even those without our "special difference".
It seems that having to write your own self appraisal in advance is something that many people struggle with.
My boss admitted that he also struggles when faced with writing his own self appraisal - more so than having to write appraisals for his direct reports.

Good luck with your review 

My first time posting as well 

I had this exact situation today - despite knowing well in advance, I had done no prep work for my half year performance review....mistake #1!

So I set about pulling up my goals for the year which were agree on at the start of the year.
Some of the goals were quite straight forward and measurable - eg complete 12 projects this year, we have completed 6,so a little behind schedule, but not a biggie.
Others were less tangible and I struggled a bit there, but also recognised that if there isn't a specific number or achievement such as pass exam X, then I wouldn't be held to account as much.

Review time comes and I meet with my [fantastic] boss who is well aware of my mental health struggles. We spoke openly and honestly, and time flew by. There was recognition of what I have achieved and there was no criticism....all went well.

So it's not a big deal then? WRONG!

In fact it turns out that many people hate the whole review process- even those without our "special difference".
It seems that having to write your own self appraisal in advance is something that many people struggle with.
My boss admitted that he also struggles when faced with writing his own self appraisal - more so than having to write appraisals for his direct reports.

Good luck with your review 

You're going to smash it mate! Don't feel afraid to ask your manager questions like "what would you say" or "what would your experience be" etc. 

I'm sure you'll be grand. Let us know later this week! 

Thank you both, these really help me stop freaking out about it and approach tomorrow a little more constructively

Autumn_Trees said:

You are NOT ALONE on this one. It's really tough! 

I've seen this from both sides of the management / employee fence and it is actually really easy.

It is one of those hurdles that HR make management pass down to try to give you some structure and ways to measure your ambitions and progress, so it will work for you if you think about it.

I assume you were given objectives last time you had one of these reviews, so this is a case of "did you do what you said you would or were you just slacking off". That also works for promises made by management of things like training courses and opportunities (eg working in other teams for a bit).

Look at the previous objectives, work out how close you came to them and base the next terms objectives on these - make them realistic.

The SMART system is actually really good as it makes these actually achievable. Lets base my response on an IT Helpdesk role as that is what I know inside out:

Specific - You want to become Microsoft certified in Windows 11 to prove you know your stuff. There is an exam for this so it is very specific.

Measurable - You must pass the exam. Very much do-able and measurable as you need more than 50% to pass..

Achievable - You have to be given the training material and time to do this (including an element of your own time), so it should be achievable with 2 hours a week set aside to study

Realistic - 2 hours a week is realistic I would think.

Time constrained - It has to be done in the next 6 months

OK - piece of cake so far.

Look at the other objectives you had and work out if they can be adapted, evolved or otherwise made repeatable in a way that helps you grow.

Your manager should do pretty much all the heavy lifting for this but they will look on you much more favourable if you come up with suggestions, and if it helps direct your career in the direction you want then this is you taking some control of your future.

If anyone wants to DM me for help then I'm happy to do this, but I'm renovating 2 apartments at the moment so I'm not about as much as I normally am.

Hi there, 

Yeah this massively freaks me out too! We have a 6 monthly review cycle at work and once a year that involves writing a personal review (eg. a review of yourself) and then a review of your manager. It is encouraged that you set out aims for the coming 6 months too. I find it SO HARD. 

I never can remember what I do in a half-year period anyway, let alone write about it and goals? My goal is to keep coming to work to get paid so I can live. That is my only goal, I don't know what you want me to say! 

Try and think of it like this: What is the purpose of your job. Are you fulfilling that purpose? What other factors affect your ability to do your job? What are the points/feedback your manager has raised with you in the past and have you worked on those points since? You want to document: what you're doing, how you're doing it and why it is good. 

You are NOT ALONE on this one. It's really tough!