Im off for the summer now and really struggling in that I've been in a complete state of inertia for nearly a week. What's also in the mix is a chronic fatigue-like health scenario. Sometimes the boundaries are blurred but if I were to put my finger on it, I'd say this is more AS related because I've been here time and again.
I can't get going with anything for love nor money. I've got plenty of things to be doing but can't start and don't know how to. I need a project to get my teeth into (of which is covered on the "things to be doing") but in my head I know it won't get finished if I start. I'm resorting to engaging with an interest but I've reached peak saturation on that. I'm flim flamming around and haven't got the attention to stick to anything (which I don't know if this is CFS related but I've experienced this before although it seems to be worse now).
I don't know if I'm in some sort of emotional burnout because I haven't experienced this stuckness for quite a while. What also adds is a sense that - I can't tell what my expectations of myself should be. When the fatigue is really thick, I know how to pace, but when I'm in this middle ground I don't know what to do but I see this more as autistic inertia. It's also the fact that I see others are able to structure their time off but I can't and I don't know if I'm putting pressure on myself to be a certain way.
I've asked for help with one thing and with other things could do with a bit of "shadowing" to motivate me but the obvious person to ask is busy working more than me and has their own stuff to do.
