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Struggling with managing anger

HMO
over 1 year ago

I probably wouldn't say I ever had "anger issues" but I could scream the house down as a child if I wanted to.

However, since I was 18 (now 26) it has definitely gotten worse. I'm more sensitive, I bottle things up and, perhaps even worse, I often invent scenarios so I have something to be angry about.

I am absolutely prone to exaggeration and making things up. E.g. today I wanted to just go out in the afternoon, as I wound up quite bored and with very little to do. I have my own car. I could have just gone for a drive but I knew it'd lead to a back and forth with my dad for ages explaining where I'm going and how long it'll take, and I've got it in my head (and I may even be right) that my parents won't be happy until I'm just not leaving the house on my own at all. Even though I have many times.

I want to practice singing in the house (not too loudly) but I'm afraid cos I'm convinced they'll tell me to shut up. Even though everyone else is able to speak as loudly as they want, my brother plays his guitar without getting shouted at to stop, my sister sneezes really loudly.

I'm having therapy and my dad said that he and my mum know me more than a therapist would and I interpreted that as them telling me to stop therapy. Which really angered me.

I get probed occasionally when I'm on the phone to someone, or when I used to go out and meet friends. They'd demand every detail. I don't have any friends currently and this makes me not want any for the rest of my life.

I don't know how much of this is in my head. I know I can't assert myself but it's also very very easy for this to bother me. It feels really unfair and it doesn't get any easier.

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Interesting. 

    Everything you have said that makes you angry ultimately leads back to your parents: 

    * You want to go out in your car BUT your parents will question you. 

    * You want to get therapy BUT your parents will ask questions. 

    * You want to take phone calls BUT your parents will ask you for details about your friends. 

    You're 26 years old - I strongly suggest you move out and do what the *** you want! It sounds exhausting to be questioned and monitored to such a high level that it stops you even having conversations in your own home. You don't need that in your life. Move on.

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autumn_Trees

    I think Autimn_Trees is right - you need to look at how you can become idependent and become responsible only to yourself.

    Do you have a job to allow you to be able to pay rent / bills etc? Without this it will probably not be possible.

    HMO said:
    I am absolutely prone to exaggeration and making things up.

    This is something I strongly recommend you work on with your therapist. It will reduce your anxiety a lot and make the world a lot less uncomfortable for you.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autumn_Trees

    I think Autimn_Trees is right - you need to look at how you can become idependent and become responsible only to yourself.

    Do you have a job to allow you to be able to pay rent / bills etc? Without this it will probably not be possible.

    HMO said:
    I am absolutely prone to exaggeration and making things up.

    This is something I strongly recommend you work on with your therapist. It will reduce your anxiety a lot and make the world a lot less uncomfortable for you.

Children