Published on 12, July, 2020
I decided to word my subject line that way because maybe I don't understand either but I deserve for loved one to try to "get" me. If both sides tried then I think we'd be ok.
That's basically it. I am just tired of being told that I am a problem. I think they see that I have a higher capacity and drive to attempt to figure the scenario out and they are just forcing everything to go their way by belittling me.
My kids are really the only two people who are taking the time to listen and learn right now. I am making a lot of internal changes and they are hearing me with my updated boundaries and needs. Everyone else is really hurting my feelings. That's not hyperbole. I mean everyone close to me. It's extra tough when it's from all angles and I don't really ever feel like I'm getting a break.
Chlotte said:I deserve for loved one to try to "get" me.
Hello Chlotte, do you mean your partner or close family?
Are you diagnosed with autism?
Chlotte said:Everyone else is really hurting my feelings.
To help us put this into context, are they aware of your autism and the work you are doing on yourself?
Sorry for the questions up front by I want to make sure I have the right context before offering any advice, assuming you want advice that is. Please let me know.
I hope we can both support you in your present situation and offer you some help to get things back to a healthier balance.
The questions are fine with me. I am in the US so I am "informally" diagnosed and getting the "formal" assessment in a couple weeks. The GP did an assessment but a specialist will do another.
Yes my partner and close family. In learning why I do some things or why some things are different for me, I am realizing that I am getting little consideration. For example, it is very hard for me to change things up for a request that's asked after my schedule has been made. I am open to doing the change up if a loved one needs but I am called selfish, even if my irritation is temporary and I handle it on my own. I now know that this is typical for people who think like I do and I can feel validated. I never felt like I was coming from a selfish place.
All my life I have felt smart but been dismissed a lot. I don't feel like typing a novel but I'll say that they have made me feel so bad that I want an IQ test to see if maybe I am also severely below average. But I finished college and my job requires me to hold 3 licenses where I do continuing education to keep. I know I am competent.
I don't have to be something special or treated exceptionally but I do think that it's typically in all areas of society to be made to feel worthy of respect and kindness.