Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey folks,
I need help. I'm heart broken and I'm trying not to hope because it hurts.
I'm recently diagnosed on the spectrum (ADHD - hyperactive) and my (now ex) boyfriend presented very clearly as AuDHD. We had a lovely, if slightly chaotic relationship. I love him deeply.
He's been under acres of stress recently and he was having what I now know as meltdown / shutdowns every few weeks as a result.
He then started to withdraw fast, then split up with me because he felt he couldn't be a good boyfriend because of it, then went silent.
I've given him space. I have not texted regularly. I haven't called or gone to his house. I respect his space.
But - I decided to tell him that I didn't want to split up. That I wanted to support him. That I felt what we had was amazing and I loved him and now I'm scared that this would have absolutely tipped him over the edge if he's having a total burnout.
I just don't know what to do other than wait and I feel so bad for him. I don't want to hurt him more.
Please help me.
ask if he wants to meet to chat, and talk it over.
See if he is up for mending the relationship.
Keep things as simple as possible, and if he does not want to chat then tell him that if/when he wishes to that you will chat to him.
Then when waiting try to keep your life simple and focus on other things, you can chat on here if you feel upset.
I hope things work out for the best with your situation.
Thank you, my lovely. This is such a kind and considered response
lol if he wanted to mend the relationship he would have called. I recognize the symptoms, he pumped, dumped and ghosted. I did that so many times when I was still young and pretty.