Daily tasks

NAS88015 said:

But does anyone have any suggestions or advice on how to keep up on everyday cooking, cleaning etc 

I tend to make it part of my routine that I can only have things I really want once I have done the chores - it brings some drive to earn the prize at the end of watching an episode of my favourite show, making a cup of special coffee or even ordering food for delivery.

As humans we are hard wired for this sort of task so stiulating the desires for the result can break the intertia of procrastination.

There are some interesting notes on procrastination here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/procrastination

I think the changing of routine is a big one for us autists - do you think this is the case for you?

Routines definitely work for me. Just if my routine is broken I find it hard to get back on track. For example if we go away, or I have a hectic week at work as my finish time can vary quite a bit sometimes so it's hard to plan around. Then things build up and I get overwhelmed. But I normally find time to watch my favourite shows, so if I can do that I can find time to clean. So I think the reward idea is definitely the way to go for me as I get excited about watching my favourite shows. Thank you for the suggestion!

NAS88015 said:

if we go away, or I have a hectic week at work as my finish time can vary quite a bit sometimes so it's hard to plan around.

Sounds like you need to develop a backup routine for this - think it through, plan it with enough flexibility for some tasks taking longer and follow it so you have the uncertainty nailed down and unable to haunt your thoughts.

Repeat after me "by the power of project management, I coquer thee!"...

OK, back under the stone I go...

That's a very kind offer which I will politely decline!

Yeah I think that it’s the choices and the ‘big picture’ that are what lands us in our slumps. Sometimes it’s the restrictions to our day that really set our repetitive behaviours on their course. When you are restricted in an unacceptable enough way you become most-interested in remedy.  
Have you ever been so eager to pursue the big-picture as you have been to pursue food when you are hungry? Are you ever as artful at pursuing reaching your destination, as you are at sating physiological needs along the way? No. Because over time you rack-up way more hours of training in the latter..
So perhaps the best way to be motivated to start your day, is to rope an existing more-practiced behaviour, into the thing you wish to develop, as I did by making my workplace my only toilet..:’D

out_of_step said:

Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

I suspect it is motivation you need. You found the motivation to post here so why was this easier than your other tasks do you think?

Do you want to try to psychoanalise on here? I don't want to cross any personal boundaries.

I have done this and it unravels at the slightest opportunity. I cannot stick to it. I know it does me good and I had motivation for it when I was doing it. But I need external force in order to propel me. Often it is having difficulty starting or doing things I enjoy. My partner often says "it has to come from within" but more often than not, it doesn't. I'm just a bit stuck today so more aware of it.

I've been thinking about what DeSpereaux said below. Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

out_of_step said:

Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

Are the things you don't end up doing things that are just a chore and/or don't make you feel good?

Do you also find you can't do stuff that you really love?

If it is just the first then it takes the pain of building a routine for your body so it becomes familiar with (for example) going ito the shower as soon as you are out of bed, then from drying / getting dressed you go straight to making breakfast, doing the dishes then onto your chores list.

We are biologically well designed to follow routine and building that pattern means you end up doing it on autopilot before your mind can get in the way. Of course it is never 100% reliable but it can work for long periods of time and is easy to pick up after any wobbles (illness etc).

It may be worth a try to see if you can build those neural pathways of routine. Just my thoughts.

Sometimes, with inertia, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to get going. If im lucky, a spark comes from nowhere and I rev up. Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

Sometimes, with inertia, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to get going. If im lucky, a spark comes from nowhere and I rev up. Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

That's a very kind offer which I will politely decline!

Yeah I think that it’s the choices and the ‘big picture’ that are what lands us in our slumps. Sometimes it’s the restrictions to our day that really set our repetitive behaviours on their course. When you are restricted in an unacceptable enough way you become most-interested in remedy.  
Have you ever been so eager to pursue the big-picture as you have been to pursue food when you are hungry? Are you ever as artful at pursuing reaching your destination, as you are at sating physiological needs along the way? No. Because over time you rack-up way more hours of training in the latter..
So perhaps the best way to be motivated to start your day, is to rope an existing more-practiced behaviour, into the thing you wish to develop, as I did by making my workplace my only toilet..:’D

out_of_step said:

Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

I suspect it is motivation you need. You found the motivation to post here so why was this easier than your other tasks do you think?

Do you want to try to psychoanalise on here? I don't want to cross any personal boundaries.

I have done this and it unravels at the slightest opportunity. I cannot stick to it. I know it does me good and I had motivation for it when I was doing it. But I need external force in order to propel me. Often it is having difficulty starting or doing things I enjoy. My partner often says "it has to come from within" but more often than not, it doesn't. I'm just a bit stuck today so more aware of it.

I've been thinking about what DeSpereaux said below. Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

out_of_step said:

Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

Are the things you don't end up doing things that are just a chore and/or don't make you feel good?

Do you also find you can't do stuff that you really love?

If it is just the first then it takes the pain of building a routine for your body so it becomes familiar with (for example) going ito the shower as soon as you are out of bed, then from drying / getting dressed you go straight to making breakfast, doing the dishes then onto your chores list.

We are biologically well designed to follow routine and building that pattern means you end up doing it on autopilot before your mind can get in the way. Of course it is never 100% reliable but it can work for long periods of time and is easy to pick up after any wobbles (illness etc).

It may be worth a try to see if you can build those neural pathways of routine. Just my thoughts.