Daily tasks

I'm the same. No motivation at all to do things sometimes.

Even the things I enjoy I seem to have no motivation and energy for.

To remind me to actually do things I've got reminders in my phone and sticky notes round the house.

When it comes to doing things I've found putting my fave songs on gives me a motivation boost. Listening to music gives me enjoyment and it makes some tasks more enjoyable for me, like studying for instance.

Give it a try as well. It might help.

That's a very kind offer which I will politely decline!

Yeah I think that it’s the choices and the ‘big picture’ that are what lands us in our slumps. Sometimes it’s the restrictions to our day that really set our repetitive behaviours on their course. When you are restricted in an unacceptable enough way you become most-interested in remedy.  
Have you ever been so eager to pursue the big-picture as you have been to pursue food when you are hungry? Are you ever as artful at pursuing reaching your destination, as you are at sating physiological needs along the way? No. Because over time you rack-up way more hours of training in the latter..
So perhaps the best way to be motivated to start your day, is to rope an existing more-practiced behaviour, into the thing you wish to develop, as I did by making my workplace my only toilet..:’D

out_of_step said:

Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

I suspect it is motivation you need. You found the motivation to post here so why was this easier than your other tasks do you think?

Do you want to try to psychoanalise on here? I don't want to cross any personal boundaries.

I have done this and it unravels at the slightest opportunity. I cannot stick to it. I know it does me good and I had motivation for it when I was doing it. But I need external force in order to propel me. Often it is having difficulty starting or doing things I enjoy. My partner often says "it has to come from within" but more often than not, it doesn't. I'm just a bit stuck today so more aware of it.

I've been thinking about what DeSpereaux said below. Maybe I need some ikegai in my day.

out_of_step said:

Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

Are the things you don't end up doing things that are just a chore and/or don't make you feel good?

Do you also find you can't do stuff that you really love?

If it is just the first then it takes the pain of building a routine for your body so it becomes familiar with (for example) going ito the shower as soon as you are out of bed, then from drying / getting dressed you go straight to making breakfast, doing the dishes then onto your chores list.

We are biologically well designed to follow routine and building that pattern means you end up doing it on autopilot before your mind can get in the way. Of course it is never 100% reliable but it can work for long periods of time and is easy to pick up after any wobbles (illness etc).

It may be worth a try to see if you can build those neural pathways of routine. Just my thoughts.

Sometimes, with inertia, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to get going. If im lucky, a spark comes from nowhere and I rev up. Often I want to do things but can't. I don't know why. I dont know if it is procrastination because they are things I want to do. Or I can't stick to certain things/routines for love nor money, even though I know they are of benefit.

out_of_step said:

How do you make yourself do something though? Even with contingencies I still find following my own plan very difficult at times. 

You know yourself so make sure your contingencies plan in a way that is reasonable for your abilities. It may be you need to have an alternative plan that lasts for a few days if you cannot fit everything into one day.

If the issue is one of procrastination then you need to deal with that underliying issue first. This solution only really works if you are good with working to a routine.

Bookending actions, with a friend, on WhatsApp.

Message the friend when beginning something, then message again; upon completion.

How do you make yourself do something though? Even with contingencies I still find following my own plan very difficult at times. 

The Japanese have a philosophical stance on this called ‘Ikegai’, which gets at how a person finds meaning, but more than that it gets at why you get out of bed in the morning. 
The reason a person gets out of bed in the morning, is one of the most potent and reliable reasons a person gets on with things, but it is also one of the most basic. So if you wish to find a motivation to do things, but you don’t seem to be able to link it to your interests, then link it to your needs and eventually you will manifest it as a behaviour.  
The most motivated I have ever been for simple reasons, is when my toilet did not work, so I had to go to town to use one, the result was that I had to think an hour ahead of immediate-needs in order to meet those needs.  
Conversely the most motivated I have been for a long-term goal, was getting into shape for the military, as I was terrified of being shouted-at and humiliated without any means of remedy.  
Both of those motivations were born of present need and not want. I hope this grants some insight..:)

Thank you, I have made a schedule with back up plans and contingencies. Thanks again.

NAS88015 said:

if we go away, or I have a hectic week at work as my finish time can vary quite a bit sometimes so it's hard to plan around.

Sounds like you need to develop a backup routine for this - think it through, plan it with enough flexibility for some tasks taking longer and follow it so you have the uncertainty nailed down and unable to haunt your thoughts.

Repeat after me "by the power of project management, I coquer thee!"...

OK, back under the stone I go...

Routines definitely work for me. Just if my routine is broken I find it hard to get back on track. For example if we go away, or I have a hectic week at work as my finish time can vary quite a bit sometimes so it's hard to plan around. Then things build up and I get overwhelmed. But I normally find time to watch my favourite shows, so if I can do that I can find time to clean. So I think the reward idea is definitely the way to go for me as I get excited about watching my favourite shows. Thank you for the suggestion!

My partner finds it equally as hard if not harder to find motivation as she has ADHD. However, i think a schedule would be best. We moved out of our parents and in together over a year ago, but still trying to find a system that works for us. Music definitely works for me, I dont do any household activity without music on to motivate me.

Thank you for the suggestions.

NAS88015 said:

But does anyone have any suggestions or advice on how to keep up on everyday cooking, cleaning etc 

I tend to make it part of my routine that I can only have things I really want once I have done the chores - it brings some drive to earn the prize at the end of watching an episode of my favourite show, making a cup of special coffee or even ordering food for delivery.

As humans we are hard wired for this sort of task so stiulating the desires for the result can break the intertia of procrastination.

There are some interesting notes on procrastination here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/procrastination

I think the changing of routine is a big one for us autists - do you think this is the case for you?

Do you have anyone who can help you day to day? I am lucky to have my husband who cooks otherwise I would literally live on cereal alone. I bought a dishwasher which has made it much easier to keep on top of the dishes. Putting the clothes in the washing machine and dryer I am ok with but I do find the dry clothes then just pile up and folding and putting away gets overwhelming. Have you tried making a schedule if like me you like routine, perhaps tackle just one thing to start with, the washing one day and cleaning just one room each day to make it more manageable? I find once it’s built up I get overwhelmed and unmotivated as there’s just too much to do. I find putting on some music helps me to keep going

It's nice to hear I'm not alone with it. I hope you find a system that works for you as well. I don't think I can afford to keep buying myself takeaways all the time anymore.

Thank you for the advice, I think I will look at getting a cleaner to help make things more manageable.

I'm the same with washing. Been harder since working from home I find.

Thanks again for the advice :)

You are not alone.
I kick myself Everyday knowing i should be doing things but those things turn into the " Next " Day.
But that Day never seems to come.
I get you.