Published on 12, July, 2020
So, not posted or checked the forum in a bit. Seen a few posts today from late diagnosed or people struggling at work, so maybe this post is relevant maybe not, I don't know. For those who don't know, I'm late diagnosed in January (early 50s) and last week I had an occupational health assessment, which wasn't brilliant but basically agreed to most of what I was asking.
Today feels like a good day for two reasons:
1) After the assessment, I felt with a bit of encouragement from my manager, able to order a noise cancelling headset to use when I'm in the office, I took a bit of convincing that the expense was justified. It arrived this morning. I already feel like it's a game changer, there weren't too many people in but it cut out all the background noise of people talking about cricket or whatever, I could focus on the call I was on and what I wanted to do. Next step is for them to give me a fixed desk so I don't have to hot desk.
2) On a personal level, having put off re-arranging tickets for something I want to see for the past week as it involved needing to ring someone up, I let a friend who offered a second time to do it, actually do it and within 15 mins, they had sorted the whole thing for me.
So, sounds daft as I've never liked to ask for help, thinking I was being demanding, high maintenance or awkward and I needed to be totally independent. However, today after asking for help with my work environment and a friend offering to help which I accepted, I think I need to not struggle with a whole bunch of stuff when there are people out there who can and will help.
The trouble is, nobody gives me the help I ask for. They treat me as if I'm being demanding or don't need the help!
I'm glad you had a good day and that you are getting help. There's never anything wrong with asking for help :) we all need help from time to time.
This community is an amazing resource, the best one I've seen for autism and everyone is supportive and helpful so if you find time this is definitely a good place to ask for help.
Cheers, I've never heard of that before, not something I could afford at the moment!
Main thing for me is to ask for or let people help me once in a while. I've always tried to help other people and I'm not sure how many times a week I get 'I've been given your name as someone that might be able to help...', basically if I notice something wrong or get presented with a problem I struggle to let it go unless I fix it or find an owner for it. Once I've agreed to do something, I have to do it. Sometimes I wonder if I have MUG written on my forehead!
With the reasonable adjustment stuff at work, it has been said to me I should've asked for help before and that I could've been asking for them even before diagnosis. I didn't feel able to do that, but it feels like some positive things are happening now I have. Appreciate not everyone will be in a position where they get the same level of support, although employers do have a responsibility to look at adjustments and show a duty of care to their staff.
My main take from yesterday was to remind myself that it is ok to ask for help if I'm struggling and I'm lucky enough to have people who will help me both professionally and personally.
Joe said:they had sorted the whole thing for me.
One thing that may be of help to busy autistic people with your issue on calling people up to organise things would be to have a virtual personal assistant.
I had a colleague move into this role about 15 years ago and she used to do all the bookings, calls and the kind of stuff we tend to shy away from because of the personal contact aspect.
I believe you contract them for a certain number of hours a week (it can be as low as a few hours) and you become familiar enough with them to call or email with clear instructions and they then take care of it for you.
It isn't terribly expensive I believe, but not trivial (I think around £30/hour) so it won't be for everyone. It depends on the value of avoiding the interaction you find stressful mind you.
It is something to think about, especially if you are generally really busy and can afford the cost.