I am feeling so lonely

I'm married to this person for over a decade,  he is autistic,  he spend his time talking to himself instead of talking to me, we don't have children because he never wanted children, but I did, now that I am 41 years old I regret bitterly I listened to him and now we don't have children.  I feel like is getting more and more distant towards me.   We don't make love.  He just want to go out with other people.  When I try to have a conversation with him, he just keeps shouting at me and getting aggressive. 

I feel like I am alone in this marriage. All I I do is crying,  I don't care if my husband is autistic,  I just want him to love me as much as I love him.