Published on 12, July, 2020
I am new to this site and after such a long time struggling and not fitting in, I thought I had found a place where I do fit in and can be me. (Which is a big deal). I am struggling to deal with how being misdiagnosed for many years has left me and felt this was a safe space to ask questions and relate to others.
I am unfortunately a unicorns and rainbows girl, I hate toxicity and arguments and do anything to avoid them. The arguments I have been seeing on here in my short time, are these regular or is it just a blip? Sorry to sound wet or judgey but I need to know, as someone just setting off on this new journey of discovery I need to feel like I am in a healthy space here.
Makes me sad to think I may have to leave here and have nowhere to go for advice. Anyway those of you who have given me advice or comments thank you it has been greatly appreciated. Please do not be too mean to me in the comments, I am sorry I feel this way. I wont read them and will come back in a week and see how things are on the forum.
You know I have a fond memory of two people (the president and former president of my Anime Society) standing out on the balcony arguing loudly for what seemed like nearly an hour about weather an Elephant dropped from a sufficiently high height would explode on impact with the ground.
they was so engrossed in the argument but we actually locked from out on the balcony without them realising it and we just kept arguing for what seems like ages after that until they finally discovered they were trapped there.
And yet they were good friends and it was a friendly argument. They didn’t leave that balcony cussing each other out. In fact I think they went to the pub after.
and we didn’t lock them on the balcony because we were scared of them. we did it because they were noisy and interrupting our fun and also because we thought it would be hilarious when they found out.
no one expects you to enjoy the conflict or join in with the conflict. But don’t assume just because an argument is going on thaT behind the keyboard people are sharpening their knives wishing they could stab the other party in the front.
we’re actually quite friendly amiable people mostly. but we are like those two on the balcony. we are not willing to let the argument go while the other person doesn’t knowledge we are right.
Can you understand why someone might be less likely to see it as a friendly but intense disagreement that you can walk away from smiling if it isn't something irrelevant like whether falling elephants explode and something serious and important to their life, such as the kinds of arguments that have erupted here lately?
I do but not to the degree that some people are taking it. I truly don't understand the vitriol some people display. And the unwillingness to engage with arguments. As if repeating 'no I am right and you are wrong' with out offering any arguments in justification is a meaningful response to a point of view you don't agree with. I don't understand why individuals want to 'shout the other person down' in stead of employing reasoned debate. After all that approach generally makes one look stupid.
Certainly if you care about the debate you are going to get more into it. Emotions get engaged. But why people want to transfer their emotions about the issue into spite and hatred for the people arguing against them ... that's quite different.