Avoiding Hugs

I like hugs, and they are so rare in my life (I would never presume to initiate one and the right circumstances are aeons apart) that I wish was more in the moment when they occur instead of being self conscious about how well I’m hugging back - too much, too little? Sufficiently relaxed? 
 
None of my family were huggers growing up. Still aren’t. It never occurred to me how common that otherwise is in other households and social groups.
 
But.. mutually initiated fond IRL hug with a friend for instance… I do like them, but years could pass between such an event (in my case anyway) and I never like to presume I haven’t had my last hug. 

I like hugs too, but I think it is partly because I am very tactile. As I hug I often think about the texture (and sometimes smell) of the clothes the hugger is wearing. Also after having a lot of rejection in my life, I see a hug as a form of acceptance.

However I am very wary about initiating a hug, as I find it difficult to understand when it is appropriate.

I like hugs too, but I think it is partly because I am very tactile. As I hug I often think about the texture (and sometimes smell) of the clothes the hugger is wearing. Also after having a lot of rejection in my life, I see a hug as a form of acceptance.

However I am very wary about initiating a hug, as I find it difficult to understand when it is appropriate.

I suppose when I started the thread I was a little too keen to try and avoid hugs when a lot of people really like them. I do too with my loved ones and when I try and avoid it's never in my mind a rejection of others - more a way to feel comfortable myself. I suppose there's lots of reasons people are or aren't keen on touch / hugs, a persons brain and motivations are all so unique you never can tell.

Thanks for your replies, helps me to see from others perspective too on this one.

Thank you. That's helpful. I recognise the times you describe as times when people I know hug me or others, but it is nice to have it spelt out.. I guess I lack confidence having got it wrong in the past.

I usually initiate it when someone is sad, I'd say "do you want a hug?". It communicates my compassion better than my ability to frame words so even when I accidentally say something a bit useless or stupid the hug makes it clear that my intentions are good but my words aren't well-spoken.

Also when I'm saying hello and goodbye to a friend whom I like and know that appreciates a hug. It also tells them that I'm happy to see them or not happy for saying goodbye to them better than my words since I'm not so good with small talks or expressions.

I also use it to say Thank you I'm very grateful to someone who did something I'm very grateful for. My face and voice wouldn't communicate much of my gratitude because the face stays straight with slight smile and the words don't say more than a regular thank you but just many times. The hug communicates that feeling much better.

I hope it helps you figure out when it's appropriate or not to give a hug