How to prepare for ASD assessment outcome next week when expecting "NO" - May just have ADHD (and some ASD) "traits"/not severe enough??

Good luck I hope you get some satisfaction wirj the outcome

Thinking about you today! Hope all is well! Xx

Good luck by the way I hope your assessment goes well. I know it can be scary at first. I think it’s always handy if you know some grounding techniques too. Breathing exercises etc. 

My advice is just try be yourself and answer honestly whatever they ask 

Hi 

It has been interesting reading. I had my assessments last week and this evening and awaiting my outcome appointment date.

I will make some notes to help prepare. It's been an exhausting process demonstration my dififculties especially when there are no parents available to give family history. 

I am female 46 and have been in mental health services for 10 years. It was NAS professional training that made me realise I had autistic traits and needed to speak to a GP for an assessment referral. 5 months later here I am

Bean - thank you so much and for your list of questions. They have really calmed me down (although am still shaky inside).

You all have been such a God-send. having received so much awful news recently (as recent as yesterday afternoon),  I am already in a bad way psychologically, and just hope i don't end up crying (embarrassingly) during the feedback. 

your advice here means the world at a time i have zero support from my own family. Thank you!

thank you so much for your comments.

I will definitely write a few questions up and also try to re-check my own traits as I seem to be firmly in denial probably because of my experience with my brother any other autistic children with very obivious symptoms (hence also in boarding school for autistic children like my brother was).

The joke has been that I "got away" from it [autism]- i.e i had a few issues, speech issues for which went into SEN school. However as i seem to be ok after that, popular, had "friends", came across as confident (or WAS because i was oblivious to others views of me), and did well (having always craved human company since being "neglected" or left behind all the time as a child). 

Thanks for informing me abut Formal diagnosis - that i can stil get this even without family input. Since mum died and sisters dont recall anything, ive been really worried. But i'll just see what happens.

Support is the main thing I need - to understand what reasonable adjustments i may need at work, to  help lower any significant detriments - Depending on what they say tomorrow, I will try to ask about this.

Autism is autism regardless of gender.

There is no such things as mild autism.

You will get a diagnosis is you display that you meet the criteria. It if affects how you live, and limits you in areas, then that’s a valid reason for wanting a diagnosis, and to learn about yourself better.

Regarding support after diagnosis, there really isn’t much at all for us adults.

And if you don’t get a diagnosis, then you need to ask why, and ask if they took into account a lifetime of masking and trying to fit in, it matters not if your parents gave information, and in no way means you can’t get a formal diagnosis. 

First, take a breath :) It's going to be okay. I am ASD with suspected ADHD but I had to really push my GP to put me on the list for an ADHD assessment because those services are absolutely overwhelmed at the moment. In my area there aren't actually any at all so I am on a list to be put on a list. So maybe it is better to go the ASD route for now and put a pin in the ADHD assessment until you know what's what tomorrow. Remember ASD and ADHD have quite a lot of overlap.

A lot of the difficulties you are describing are associated with ASD but I'm not a professional and I don't know your whole story. Just because your brother presents with more classic ASD type symptoms doesn't mean you aren't ASD. 

You can't change what they say tomorrow, and try not to second guess yourself from the assessment. It's so easy to ruminate but I guarantee there is no way anyone goes in for that assessment and doesn't worry their problems weren't obvious or they should have said x or y.

The first thing you do is go in and say you are really nervous. You are worried your struggles weren't greatly apparent, that you struggle to advocate for yourself and you are worried they might not see everything they should. Then you can have a frank discussion about your worries with them and they will likely go more slowly and explain their reasoning to you.

You can go in with a list of questions like:

How sure are they with their diagnosis?
Did they consider differential diagnoses/overlapping or co-morbid conditions? i.e. if they say no we think you have ADHD, then you want to be asking but what is the chance I have both?
How familiar are they with non-classic presentation of autism? 
You said you show female signs of autism, how familiar are they with ASD in females? It can look very different.
What are your next steps?
If you are diagnosed with ASD, what do you do now? Do they place you with an intervention team?
If you aren't diagnosed with ASD, you are still obviously struggling, so what should you do now? What are their recommendations for you to get support? Did they come to any other conclusions during your assessment as to what might be causing some of your issues?
What are your rights about seeking a second opinion?

These are a few of the things I asked or would have asked had I been told no.

At the end of the day. No matter what they say, you are going to be okay and it's just one step in finding the right support for you. Not the end of the road. 

I wish you all the best for tomorrow <3

oh wow, i wish i had been able ro pick your brains way before my assessments themselves. some of ehat you say ar so familiar to me but ben gin the middle of fighting for your job and acting liek you ARE capable, i jut have been in the wrong headspace - PERFORMING rather than letting the true me out.

I made no sense during my asessments, dont event remember them. I went off on tangent trying to tell them subcinciousy that i cannot be autistiv because of my btoher (being non-verbal with severe autismand learning disabiltieis, and THAT being my experience, although he too displays very atapical beaahviours and preferences) - he actually pics up bad "habits"/ticks etc from other ASD residents in his care home and then takes ages for him to "lose" them again.

even when i read through ASD pages on this site, they dont make too much sense. I think i dont have many of the traits, but KNOW something is wrong with me. - not sure how else to put it.

i also DONT like it when schedule is messed up but used to be VERY good at rescheudling other thins IF i had a good line manager to clearly clarfied what other things to deprioritse and could be pushe dbakc (so i didnt feel like a complete failure!). Where i have a personable helpful line manager (who is NOT rude or aggressive, or helps with nothing then "audits" you rather than providing the guidance you need when impacting your workload and shedule), i tend to perform really well. where i am too uncomfotrable to even approach my line manager (repeating what i should say, a million times in my own head and then NOT having that real conversation just to AVOID that person) than i just crumble. 

I also NEED templates, good examples, etc of documetns if i am asked to draft a report etc - I need the structure to remain in or exemplar to mimic. Otherwise brain goes all over the place, being a perfectionsist too, and then i am mentally paralysed! 

I like logical, science, "nerdy" things. However my morale can go very low and put myself off completing tasks. I get extremely lonely too, which impacts my ability.

I just cant articulate anything properly so I've really let myself down. Not sure what questions i shoudl ask AT THE RESULTS meeting tomororw morning or if its now even TOO late. I feel so angry at myself! really need signposting to services if i am NOT autistic. no one would believe me even i was Autistic. I am never believed. maekes me want to scream and throw things aroudn the house, after SO MANY years suffering with difficulties but no one believing me just because i got great grades and come across well when speakign to people (NOW i cannot even communicate though as SO exahusted). Problem is i come across too well, even in CRISIS, so my desperation is NOT taken seriously.

Maybe i should have asked for an advocate/support worker to attend with me? too late now anyway as having my feedback tomorrow morning. Am terrified, just because everythign keeps going wrong for me (im sure mostly my own fault for masking for so many years, or just having "odd" difficulties that i cant even articulate) 

If you asked any questions at feedback i would really appreciate it if you could share? Could help me panic less and focus on finding some more Qs as someone who thinks i might not have autism (but desperately needing ADHD assessment which the psychiatrist does NOT want to give me)

Thanks in advance - both for your previous comments and for any questions/tips you may leave for me today!

Thansk so much. i also have C-PTSD and your statements really resonate with me. 

Im so muddle about all my struggles that i now go blank when i have to answer and also go WAY OFF tangent. In short, i must be a nightmare to asses, especially as my siblings dont remember me as a child so i couldt even get a Formal diangisis anyway (no way of knowing my childhood issues).

A lot of neglect and me being left along due to age gap i suspect. I had speeach isuses but others "made sure" i was the very brights and confident one! However everything now crashing down on me and dont know how to cope with small talk/chit chat. Ive lost ALL my skills (i used to mask really well, emulating very confident successful people), but now feel a mess.

Thanks again. Wishing you all the best! :) 

As a female adult who was dubious at first as to whether I was actually autistic, I was really worried about my assessment. I thought about what I could control and what I couldn't. You can't control whether they make the wrong diagnosis but if that was the case you can go the private route for a second opinion. What you could control is getting your worries addressed. I sent my assessors a list of worries I had:

• how experienced were they with female ASD and with what people tend to refer to as 'high-functioning' masking (though I hate this term personally)
• I was both worried they would diagnose me too easily when I wasn't autistic and worried they would fail to see the struggles I was having and then say I wasn't
• I was worried I would forget things during the assessment or mask too much

The assessor got back to me and reassured me about these things and I felt a lot better after that. Ultimately you go in trying to be as honest as possible. I didn't think I was autistic, but now I see how blind I have been to my struggles over the years. I was given an ASD level II diagnosis because when I sit down to explain what day-to-day life is like for me I realise I have somehow put a significant amount of support in place for myself and when I don't have it I will have daily, sometimes violent, sometimes self-injurious meltdowns. They are always an extreme explosion of emotion. But I would have sworn before then that I was not autistic. Even though I have to spend my entire life wearing headphones and soft clothes and completely breakdown when my schedule is interrupted. Honestly I don't know how I was in such denial.

These people are usually extremely good at spotting masking, when I read my report after I was shocked at the things they picked up on. I thought my eye contact was good, apparently it was all over the place. I thought the ADOS part was really simple and yet I responded in a very 'autistic manner' throughout the entire assessment. I couldn't read facial expression accurately. I went on a 5 minute monologue about how anthropomorphizing a frog was stupid. 

All you can do for the moment is let them know your worries so they can make you feel better and maybe go in with a sheet of things you want to ask them about their experience, what comes after, what your other options are. And then just be your wonderful self

I am the same great at masking, but had total burn out last year as I just ran out of energy to keep masking, I was very poorly and almost hospitalised. Anyway long story short, I felt the same at my assessment, but as I had one practical assessment and then the interview assessment, with 2 different people it helped as 2 opinions combined. I was thinking the worse but I got my diagnosis today and it was confirmed diagnosis of autism and cptsd. So what I am trying to say in a long babble, is just be you and tell them all your struggles and try ( i know hard) not to overthink it. I wrote down all my issues from childhood to now and examples of the quirky things I do, and it was handy to refer to at the assessment. Good Luck

thank you so much. I am currently going through an extremely challenging time with a former employer (hint hint) related to help for these kinds of "disabilities", so i really do need some hints and tips as only sleeping for a couple of hours a night just to be able to cope with upcoming major "events" when I just feel like i dont have the extra support I need (but dont even know how to articualte the help i need because i dont have confirmed if i do have ADHD, with ASD or without).

Oddly enough, the ASD assessment has come around sooner (around 3-5 years later!) but person who would do the ADHD assessment, i think is trying her best to STOP it happening so using other experiences ive had an an excuse to suggest i dont have ADHD even before undertaking ANY assessment. 

if you are "high performing" or "normal achiever" i.e. GREAT AT MASKING, or have HAD TO MASK since early childhood (having been accused of being a liar when reaching out for help for something else quite serious!) , these assessment centres dont seem to want to diagnose you. Im fine with NOT being ASD, but i still need some clarity on what the isseus are then (because they DO cover some/may categories here).

Thanks

London_Star said:

ADHD and ASD - to me personalyl, they seem like very different things

Just been reading about this - there is a lot of shared "symptoms/behaviours" and quite a lot of people seem to have BOTH, so untangling them will be difficult if not impossible.

Rather than relying on labels of being one or the other it may be best to deal with ways to approach your symptoms/behaviours and it will have a more meaningful impact on your life.

London_Star said:

i find it hard to mary up the ADHD and ASD - to me personalyl, they seem like very different things,

Have a read at https://psychcentral.com/adhd/can-you-have-adhd-and-autism

ADHD and autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can occur together.

But there’s conflicting evidence on how common it is. Some research suggests that about 50% to 70% of autistic people also have ADHD. But the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that the number is closer to 14%.

So I would ask the people in the interview what their confidence level is that they have got the right diagnosis given the simiarities and overlaps. Don't be afraid to push them on this as they may not have much experience and thus may be misdiagnosing.

The chances are you will have so much going on in your head at the time that it will be hard to ask or take in the answers, so the one thing I would suggest you get to take away is their recommendation on further reading on the subject.

There are loads of books on autism and ADHD so which are the ones they think are well written and can offer advice on both understanding and living with it.

Please feel free to ask away if there are any more questions post meeting, including for recommendations on books on the subjects your diagnosis covers.

Good luck.

Hi I am the same. I get my results tomorrow morning and am beside myself worrying about it. Anyway good luck and I hope it all goes ok for you  .I will write questions down ready I think as I know my mind will go blank or I will babble and go off track, one or the other 

hi,  thanks so much for your message.

i have had the assessments,  i need help to prepare for the outcome meeting - what Qs to ask, what things they might misss out in a case of diagnonisnig i DONT have ASD. 

I'm pretty sure i dont have ASD (but i could be in denial as my younger bro as a very severe version of it). Im more familiar with ADHD and was suggested i may have ASD. i find it hard to mary up the ADHD and ASD - to me personalyl, they seem like very different things, but maybe i am misinterpreting it all in my panic, given workplace discrimination. 

Any tips in adavance for thsoe of us NOT deemed on the spectrum woudl be great . Thanks 

First of all, perparing for the assessment should simply be you going in and being open and honest. It isn't an exam and if you start to sound like you are telling the assessor what you think they want to hear, this will work against you.

Just listen, answer when asked and be brutally honest about it - if you are autistic then the high pribability is they will diagnose it.

In the event the answer is not what you want to hear then you can go private - a private assessment will probalbly take a few hours, cost in the region of £500 and be done in a few weeks. Not cheap but a good chance for a second opinion.

In the event you still don't get the answer you want then you need to explore what the assessmend does say and revisit your assumptions.

If the initial assessment says not autistic and the private one says yes you are, then you can get your NHS record updated with the revised assessment.

Thinking through all the what-ifs seems to be counter productive until you have at least the first assessment, but hopefully the above will help plan the high level steps to consider.

When you do have the assessment then we can spend some time and tailor recommendations to your needs from there.

It can take some time to come to terms with the results so don't get ahead of yourself and I would recommend taking the time to research more about the actual diagnosis and what it means to you so this can inform any future requests for adjustments etc.

It's hard to not worry about it too much but I've been there and it doesn't help. Maybe set a time for when you will research the subjects in deptth rather than do it now, give yourself time for adjustment and learning.

Good luck and just be yourself, warts and all.