Colonoscopy

As some of you will know me here, I won't go on, but I am on the spectrum, have terrible anxiety in certain situations.

I also have IBD and am currently quite ill in a flare up of my condition. Awaiting test result.

But I'm overdue for a colonoscopy. However, it's not as simple as going in and doing it, anxiety or no.

I had one in 2016 when I got diagnosed. I got really sick from the lax. prep. and got rushed to A&E overnight. Managed to have it the morning after.

Since then I've had 2 more booked, I reacted again to two different prep solutions and got rushed to A&E where I twice spent 12 hours vomiting and passing out, was so traumatic. Neither time they were able to do the colonoscopy because I was so ill, so it was all for nothing.

Since then I managed to have a sigmoidoscopy (slightly less invasive) without prep. But, screaming in pain and without asking my permission, they gave me Fentanyl whilst on the table and it knocked me out. I woke up off my head on opiutes. Because I wouldn't take the prep they didn't really see much so was sort of a failure.

So, how on earth do I navigate this again? The idea of ending up in A&E again, feeling by far the sickest I've ever felt, twice, fills me with panic. Think I've also got some PTSD because I have a reaction when I think about it