Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
I am 57 and have been to see my GP about getting an autism assessment. I have known all my life that I dont fit in and that I struggle to do a lot of things that other people find easy and enjoyable. My father died 2 years ago and since his death I have been able to think more clearly about who I am
I have wanted to ask for an assessment for over 10 years but I have been scared to do this as didnt want to cause disruption to the people in my life and also I felt anxious about getting a diagnosis as feel it might be too late to address some of the problems that have caused me so many difficulties in my life
I have also recently ended an abusive relationship and to be honest, most of the relationships I have had have been abusive, I am really bad at realising when people are not good for me and I believe men when they say they love me even though their actions dont seem loving at all
I just want to try and understand myself. I have done lots of autism assessments online and they always come back as showing high level of autism but I just assumed they werent very accurate. I work full time and I am a successful contemporary artist but everything is a huge struggle and I have had many episodes of really bad anxiety and depression and live with a lot of pain. I am really bad at relationships and friendships and only really feel at ease when I am alone but I do feel lonely sometimes and wish I could be more like other people
Is it too late to get an assessment and possibly a diagnosis
Thanks for reading this
Hi,
I’m also in my fifties and I this year I got my diagnosis of autism from the NHS. Between being referred and actually getting the diagnosis was about two and a half years - so once you ask for the referral you will have plenty of time to think about it and if you want you can decide not to actually go ahead. So there’s no harm in starting the process even if you have some conflicted feelings about the whole thing. I can relate to much of what you say - and I’m also an artist. I think having a profession where you work alone enabled me to have the ‘quiet life’ that I needed. I also struggled with so much throughout my life that other people seemed to have little difficulty with. I found friendships quite stressful, although thankfully I did meet a lovely man when I was a student and we got married and had children. I feel so fortunate to have that as I think I’d have struggled on the dating scene too long term. I have trouble trusting men generally - in fact trusting people overall. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for decades, and occasional depression due to the struggling so much with the anxiety. Both my adult children are autistic too - one diagnosed at about 10 and one diagnosed in his 20s. None of us regret getting a diagnosis, we’ve found it to be positive overall. I think the more understanding we have of ourselves the better. I found that before I got the diagnosis I didn’t feel so able to assert my needs as an autistic person - I felt more that I had to apologise for my difficulties as if it was more ‘weakness’ - but with the diagnosis I feel more able to say openly that “this is difficult for me because…..”. I also told my wider family about the diagnosis and I found that positive too as I think it made sense of a lot of things for them in terms of how I’ve lived my life, I why I struggled with certain things historically. I think I was a bit of a mystery to them in some ways and the diagnosis enabled them to understand me more (possibly! Hopefully……).
So if you want to try and get a diagnosis I would say go for it. My experience has been largely positive. Good luck!