Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
I am 57 and have been to see my GP about getting an autism assessment. I have known all my life that I dont fit in and that I struggle to do a lot of things that other people find easy and enjoyable. My father died 2 years ago and since his death I have been able to think more clearly about who I am
I have wanted to ask for an assessment for over 10 years but I have been scared to do this as didnt want to cause disruption to the people in my life and also I felt anxious about getting a diagnosis as feel it might be too late to address some of the problems that have caused me so many difficulties in my life
I have also recently ended an abusive relationship and to be honest, most of the relationships I have had have been abusive, I am really bad at realising when people are not good for me and I believe men when they say they love me even though their actions dont seem loving at all
I just want to try and understand myself. I have done lots of autism assessments online and they always come back as showing high level of autism but I just assumed they werent very accurate. I work full time and I am a successful contemporary artist but everything is a huge struggle and I have had many episodes of really bad anxiety and depression and live with a lot of pain. I am really bad at relationships and friendships and only really feel at ease when I am alone but I do feel lonely sometimes and wish I could be more like other people
Is it too late to get an assessment and possibly a diagnosis
Thanks for reading this
NAS86677 said:I have also recently ended an abusive relationship and to be honest, most of the relationships I have had have been abusive, I am really bad at realising when people are not good for me
Welcome to the forum, and don't worry about your age for being diagnosed. I was 55 when I got my diagnosis and it has been the catalyst for me to make a lot of very positive changes to my life.
I get the issue with abusive relationships and it is unfortunately all too common for autistic people to find themselves in this situation. I don't know if we are simply being preyed on or whether our "naive" nature is a trigger for many non-autistic people to find their more base instincts coming to the surface.
The end results are the same however.
We are famous for having logical thinking processes in many cases, so if you consider all the tests and all the results you have had - it really points to you most probably being autistic.
If you are then it is a fact - in the same way sking colour is a fact or height etc. Once confirmed then you can find a world of information that will help you make the best of the situation and shape your life into something much more comfortable and rewarding for you.
I urge you to get an assessment. You can do these privately for less than £100 I believe - I opted to use a psychiatrist who could give a more clinical diagnosis (by my thought process) and it cost £250 - it involved a 45 min session spit over 2 days and an online RAADS test (multiple choice and striaghtforward to do).
He could tell within 5 mins of meeting that I was autistic and the test confirmed it - he sent me a diagnosis certificate to use with my GP and any other official body that would need it (eg your workplace etc).
Once diagnosed you are not obliged to disclose it to anyone you don't want to, so it isn't going to change anything you don't want it to.
There is loads of literature out there that is helpful to us so if you go through with the assessment then please come back and we can help with specific questions, recommendations of books to educate yourself with or just a support group to talk with.
Good luck
Hi Iain thank you for your reply, so kind of you
I am going to get my assessment. I saw my GP about 2 months ago but not sure if he made the referral. I am happy to pay. Do you know where I can find out how to get a private assessment?
With kind regards
Helen