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Pronouns Understanding

Kittera

Hello Everyone

I am not sure if I am venting out or in SERIOUS need of advice!

Here in the twenty-first century, we are lucky to be a community that is constantly connected (here aren't we all?:))  But for the last few years, people have started to use pronouns to present themselves, in the gender that they please. And I thought: "That's great! People get to choose what they want, be open to a community, not be offended, feel free, and perhaps worst cases not feel accepted but at the very least like themselves! What could go wrong?" I thought 

Until my family came along...

Do you know in "An Inspector Calls"? "We tend to have a great influence on the youngest generation"? Or something close to that. That's basically how I feel.

My family, parents and siblings, all agree that pronouns are dangerous. And with the arguments that they bring it's difficult not to agree. The psychological effect on the youngest, the dangers to females, the censorship of some words, the audacity that some Woke (not all, I know please, it's example) believe that white people owe to the black, Asians and other races for generations of discrimination and must (you guess) pay to be repented for their ancestors' sins. (*shakes head uncomfortably) That sounds like a cult at this point. Or if we have to go back on the subject: the pressure that is put at work to create a "diversity-free" environment actually closes other people to say: "No, I don't agree." Because if you do: You're racist! So there is no choice!

When you hear that, every day, every time your sibling calls and describes how the choice of a little girl deciding to use the pronouns "cat", and so the little girl, believes that she is a cat! Of course, it's worrying, but at the same time, maybe my sibling is making a bit too much of a deal out of this than it should be!

I tried to tell them: "Hey! Can we talk about something else?" because, in all honesty, yes, there are things I agree with them, like the censorship of words, but their constant opinion is destroying my ability to create my own opinion about this whole mess! But no: they must vent out because their daily obligation is driving them crazy! I hate it! Some of you may recognise me because I expressed my discontent about pronouns and the psychological danger I expressed, but to be very honest I DON'T KNOW! This is driving me crazy, I can't talk to them without them seeing positively this whole thing! That it's people's choices and that things can be resolved if we are all careful! I know this is an autistic reserved account... but... PLEASE help me understand in a non-bias way.

(And on that note, I have NO issue with my gender identity!)

Parents

  • Hi Kittera, I use people's first names when I'm talking to them. If someone looks like a man, I'll use masculine pronouns automatically. If someone looks like a woman, I'll use feminine pronouns.

    However, if I talk to a man and he tells me he's a woman and wants me to use feminine pronouns for him, or a woman who wants me to use masculine pronouns, I'll try to remember and use the right ones.

    I've only ever met one man who dressed in women's clothing and used a woman's name. It was a struggle for me because he looked very much like a man, dressed as a woman. I just made sure I used his female name to avoid any confusion.

    If people ask me for my pronouns when we first meet, I usually ignore the question.

  • in reply to NAS72368

    see thats pretty much how everyone is. its automatic and its based on appearance.

    if a person looks like a woman youd likely use she/her type female pronouns... even if you know its a man... pronouns are based on appearance usually and are automatic.

    when its ambiguous and when grammatically correct and not weird youd use they, or say that person... a more distanced less personal none gendered way, but ofcourse it still has to be grammatically correct to avoid being weird.

Reply
  • in reply to NAS72368

    see thats pretty much how everyone is. its automatic and its based on appearance.

    if a person looks like a woman youd likely use she/her type female pronouns... even if you know its a man... pronouns are based on appearance usually and are automatic.

    when its ambiguous and when grammatically correct and not weird youd use they, or say that person... a more distanced less personal none gendered way, but ofcourse it still has to be grammatically correct to avoid being weird.

Children
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