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Pronouns Understanding

Kittera

Hello Everyone

I am not sure if I am venting out or in SERIOUS need of advice!

Here in the twenty-first century, we are lucky to be a community that is constantly connected (here aren't we all?:))  But for the last few years, people have started to use pronouns to present themselves, in the gender that they please. And I thought: "That's great! People get to choose what they want, be open to a community, not be offended, feel free, and perhaps worst cases not feel accepted but at the very least like themselves! What could go wrong?" I thought 

Until my family came along...

Do you know in "An Inspector Calls"? "We tend to have a great influence on the youngest generation"? Or something close to that. That's basically how I feel.

My family, parents and siblings, all agree that pronouns are dangerous. And with the arguments that they bring it's difficult not to agree. The psychological effect on the youngest, the dangers to females, the censorship of some words, the audacity that some Woke (not all, I know please, it's example) believe that white people owe to the black, Asians and other races for generations of discrimination and must (you guess) pay to be repented for their ancestors' sins. (*shakes head uncomfortably) That sounds like a cult at this point. Or if we have to go back on the subject: the pressure that is put at work to create a "diversity-free" environment actually closes other people to say: "No, I don't agree." Because if you do: You're racist! So there is no choice!

When you hear that, every day, every time your sibling calls and describes how the choice of a little girl deciding to use the pronouns "cat", and so the little girl, believes that she is a cat! Of course, it's worrying, but at the same time, maybe my sibling is making a bit too much of a deal out of this than it should be!

I tried to tell them: "Hey! Can we talk about something else?" because, in all honesty, yes, there are things I agree with them, like the censorship of words, but their constant opinion is destroying my ability to create my own opinion about this whole mess! But no: they must vent out because their daily obligation is driving them crazy! I hate it! Some of you may recognise me because I expressed my discontent about pronouns and the psychological danger I expressed, but to be very honest I DON'T KNOW! This is driving me crazy, I can't talk to them without them seeing positively this whole thing! That it's people's choices and that things can be resolved if we are all careful! I know this is an autistic reserved account... but... PLEASE help me understand in a non-bias way.

(And on that note, I have NO issue with my gender identity!)

Parents

  • I think you seem to have misunderstood what pronouns actually are.  Any word that you use in place of a name is a pronoun. Pronouns include:

    • I, me, my
    • You, your
    • He, his, him
    • She, her
    • We, us, our
    • They, them, their 

    We use these words all the time. They are not dangerous. You yourself have used them in what you wrote. I'm using them right now!

    The confusion comes because our society treats people differently depending on what's between their legs.  We have some words that are commonly used for those with an "innie" and other words for people with an "outie." When somebody says "hey, I don't want to have my whole existence defined by what's between my legs" and asks to use terms that make them feel happy instead of terms that make them feel upset, others get confused and upset about it because they want to keep the innies and the outies separate. 

    Most of this desire to keep things seperate comes from the way that these body parts fit together to make babies and give pleasure. Our society has believed for a long time that baby making is acceptable, but not widely talked about, but there is still a lot of shame and control about non-baby making activities. People with outies have historically held a lot of control over people with innies, and are very uncomfortable with the idea of two outies enjoying this particular kind of pleasure together.  

    Because of this history of control, some people with innies make assumptions about people with outies, and this leads to fear in some cases. They associate their suffering with the outie instead of with the character of the person who caused it.  This leads to a panic about letting anyone with an outie near them at points when they feel vulnerable, regardless of that person's character or any of their other attributes. So the people with innies think they can protect themselves better by segregating and upholding this divide.

    In fact, it's much more effective for all kinds of people to look after and support each other, and focus on the things that make us the same instead of the things that make us different. 

    In regard to the story about the child who thinks they're a cat, that sounds like a story that got out of hand.  (Cat is also a noun not a pronoun.)  As I work with children, I can reassure you that they often play games of pretending to be all sorts of things, but they don't believe it to be literally true.  There's an autistic girl in my class who often says that she's a cat because it helps her to feel safe and loved.

Reply

  • I think you seem to have misunderstood what pronouns actually are.  Any word that you use in place of a name is a pronoun. Pronouns include:

    • I, me, my
    • You, your
    • He, his, him
    • She, her
    • We, us, our
    • They, them, their 

    We use these words all the time. They are not dangerous. You yourself have used them in what you wrote. I'm using them right now!

    The confusion comes because our society treats people differently depending on what's between their legs.  We have some words that are commonly used for those with an "innie" and other words for people with an "outie." When somebody says "hey, I don't want to have my whole existence defined by what's between my legs" and asks to use terms that make them feel happy instead of terms that make them feel upset, others get confused and upset about it because they want to keep the innies and the outies separate. 

    Most of this desire to keep things seperate comes from the way that these body parts fit together to make babies and give pleasure. Our society has believed for a long time that baby making is acceptable, but not widely talked about, but there is still a lot of shame and control about non-baby making activities. People with outies have historically held a lot of control over people with innies, and are very uncomfortable with the idea of two outies enjoying this particular kind of pleasure together.  

    Because of this history of control, some people with innies make assumptions about people with outies, and this leads to fear in some cases. They associate their suffering with the outie instead of with the character of the person who caused it.  This leads to a panic about letting anyone with an outie near them at points when they feel vulnerable, regardless of that person's character or any of their other attributes. So the people with innies think they can protect themselves better by segregating and upholding this divide.

    In fact, it's much more effective for all kinds of people to look after and support each other, and focus on the things that make us the same instead of the things that make us different. 

    In regard to the story about the child who thinks they're a cat, that sounds like a story that got out of hand.  (Cat is also a noun not a pronoun.)  As I work with children, I can reassure you that they often play games of pretending to be all sorts of things, but they don't believe it to be literally true.  There's an autistic girl in my class who often says that she's a cat because it helps her to feel safe and loved.

Children