Published on 12, July, 2020
How do y'all feel about an autistic person identifying as an "aut*st" or calling their autistic friends they have close relationships with the same word? My autistic friend prefers it because he says it is "taking the word back", but only autistic people can use it. He likens it to the n-word or h*llbilly.
Personally, I agree with him. In fact, I designed a shirt that says "All my friends are aut*sts" (but actually spelled out without the astrix). It's from a running personal joke where I was completely unaware I was autistic and just thought I liked autistic people, which is why I would say, "All my friends are autistic." Using the word "aut*sts" in the shirt would be an indirect way of disclosing my autism flavor since only autistic people can use it. Would this shirt be offensive?
Actually the worst slur you can throw at an autistic person is creepy. It's a very hard accusation to fight. Because what's creepy? It's not a crime, not a specific activity. It's a perception that someone is different, in a threatening way, that they are not right. And we are different.
Built into the word 'creepy' is the assumption that peoples gut feelings and perceptions trump facts and circumstances. You can be good to your fellow man, painfully honest and ethical, and yet if people label you as creepy that's no help because its not a rational assessment.
tbh i dont think id care if someone called me creepy.... id likely half agree with them that i probably am seemingly creepy, but yet its just a opinion and everyone is creepy to someone.we need to be realistic and self critical too though... if one has no friends and everyone distances themselves from you, then perhaps there is some truth in when a person calls you creepy? then on that you can perhaps fix it if you want.... but lets be honest none of us care and wouldnt fix it anyway lol and some of us would like people distancing themselves and creepiness that repels people could be a nice shield from the world.
Except in a very real way autism predisposes others to finding you creepy. It turns out there is a kind of feedback loop where a couple of NTs faces talking reflect each others emotions to some extent. A bit like laughing or yawning being contagious but more subtle. And if as autistic people often do, our faces break that feedback loop, we don't mirror back to people subtle filtered versions of their own (facially displayed) emotions, then they read us as creepy, doll like, in the uncanny valley and as lacking empathy.
The lable of creepy they put on us is their brain reacting to our autism. And it has to stop.
we probably are creepy to them in that respect though, and i dont mind if they think that.i have thought worse of them to be fair. especially after high school were id have wanted to nuke the entire country if i had access to nukes so my thoughts to them would have been far worse than them thinking i am creepy.
I see you are refferring to the uncanny valley effect where they react to us like they would in imperfect android, autistic youtuber AFTI mentions a possible way to get around it in his vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6dCZS1dpaE but that does require a degree of outing or dropping of the mask and disclosure for some people.