I just want to make contact with women in their 40's and 50's who have been recently diagnosed with autism.
I just want to make contact with women in their 40's and 50's who have been recently diagnosed with autism.
Hi. I've just had a (very late) diagnosis of autism. This followed a diagnosis of dyslexia, to which a colleague suggested that I go for an autism assessment also. I'm 64!! A little older than your request - but not in outlook. I now realise why my life achievements had taken more time and energy than than that of my peers!!
How they found it was arthritis was that after about a year my joints were bad enough that I got referred to a rheumatologist who diagnosed it. I wasn't thrilled, at the age of 20 or 21 to be told that! It's not as active now as in the early days, but I have many weak, stiff and deformed joints which can be painful. I am doing my utmost to avoid covid, since it was triggered by flu, I hate to think what long covid would be like on top!
I am not yet seeing a therapist, though I am making enquiries for counselling/coaching because I could do with some help. I journal on and off, never consistently, but it does help to write things down.
I know what you mean about a riddle wrapped in an enigma! I even had one school report which said i was an enigma. Well, he actually wrote anathema, which my family and I were hugely offended by! But it turned out it was an error and he had meant enigma...
Hi there, thanks for getting in touch.
Yes, you're right - the relief was palpable! However, now I'm obsessed with chronicling it!
Can i ask you if you were diagnosed privately, or via the NHS?
I've read a few accounts, but curious to know how the assessment is conducted.
Hi there! Thanks for your response.
No, I wasn't aware of the campaign, however, I did see the productions you referred to - I’ve also listened to various podcasts aimed at our age group - I can share the details with you, if you like?
I’m aware that we live in a patriarchal society, however it’s astounding that women and girls have been overlooked until recently. However, I'm relieved, that there’s a lot more information available of late.
Agreed, the bios are an obsession, here's a link for more from the RCPsych, that features women discussing their individual experiences:www.rcpsych.ac.uk/.../women-and-autism
Yes, you're really lucky to have other autistic individuals, both in and outside work - I don't, so it's not that easy, and currently I've decided not to confide in anyone i know. Currently, there's no group local to me, so I might start one, specifically for women like us, as I believe the numbers are only going to increase.
Firstly, if you’re getting upset re a typo you really shouldn’t be engaging in online discourse! Hence, you're absolutely correct in ceasing to engage with strangers on an open forum.
I don’t know what age you are, or how autism affects you, but please refrain from commenting on individuals use of language, as you are incorrect re the usage of the word ‘research’.
In my opinion, your comments are pedantic - I was simply being polite by not pointing it out prior.
It’s surprising, that having engaged with research? you cannot understand the word’s general usage.
The issue here is, that I don’t know you and you don’t know me, therefore if you insist on making such comments, you will have to expect a response, that may not be to your liking.
Since you’re ill, it’s best you look after yourself and get the necessary help that you need. Many people are ill, or undergoing treatment on here too, just try and remember that. And some people may not be as civil, as I’ve been to you.
In fact, I recently signed up, and your negative response has put me off using the site, hence I’ll have to do my research elsewhere.
Remember you replied to my query, and if you didn’t get the result you expected, that clearly demonstrates more about you, than it does about me.
Finally, thank you, I really appreciate having no further communications from you.
Sorry, that you found it unclear, but it's personal reserch, not professional, and I thought I made that clear.
As a renowned expert researcher (including work for the Home Office, Parliament and the U.N.) I stand by my previous statements (please re-read them).You are choosing not to accept these professional facts. You do not use the formal word "research" when what is being done is not "research".
[Oh, and just an important point - you spelled "research" wrong (you wrote "reserch" - please see your quote above). If the word "research" cannot be spelled correctly or if a typo was not corrected, then the exactitude of real research should never be attempted!]
I am upset that, as an expert, you refuse to accept professional feedback. I was also kind and welcoming in my replies: I wished you well for joining the Forum and I said I hope you get the information you want.
The experience of your replies has upset and stressed me and made me so anxious that I will stop commenting on the Forum. I used to do it a lot and it helped me, but now I will not be going on the Forum because it is triggering. I do not know what upset awaits me on it.
Luckily, I made a good friend I can write to separately. Also, I need to get rid of any stress and upset because I am having debilitating cancer treatment. Thus, I will not read, let alone answer, any reply from you.
However, I still wish you well in gaining the information you need to be helped.
Hi, I was diagnosed at 56. I seem to have spent most of my free time since down the research rabbit hole provided by Dr Google and am for the first time in my life getting a proper understanding of the issue that lead to my diagnosis.
Have you seen the NAS campaign on women and non-binary people? There have been some recent good documentaries on the BBC and C4 too. The message is getting out there. I've become a bit obsessed with reading the bios of other autistic people, too. There have been a spate of good ones by well known autistic women, who I applaud for being so brave and trail blazing for us all.
I guess I am really lucky in as much as have other autistic people around me in my work and social life too. It makes a difference.
No you didn't offend me, as I'm aware that emails are often hard to decipher..
Yes, you see the issue is, that you were referring to something I wrote in an earlier post, and I tend to write succinctly, hence it makes sense to me.
To clarify, by 'Im in it' - I meant, that, I'm in that particular age bracket... If i was conducting research on a professional level - I'd have stated that.
Furthermore, I disagree with your iinterpretation of the word, as anyone can do research, the word is not used exclusively in a professional context.
I sincerely hope, that the aforementioned clarifies the issue for you.
Thanks for your quick reply. The pop-up states the following:'Navigate the group's applications' and in the lower corners is Next and Later - I've clicked around it and in it and can't remove it.
What I meant by coming to the conclusion myself, was mainly down to research, as that’s one of my strengths, in hindsight, I probably should have pursued that as a career - would have saved myself a lot of wasted energy!
I’ve listened to a lot of podcast discussions and it wasn’t until someone stated, that they had issues concentrating in restaurants, as they couldn’t drown out the neigbouring dialogue, that it clicked.
During the initial research, I dismissed autism, as the findings were unrelatable, subsequently, discovered that was due to the available information being predominantly male centered.
I’ve suffered from fatigue and anxiety since I was a teenager, along with undiagnosed insomnia, with highly erratic energy levels.
Your ME misdiagnosis isn't surprising, how did you discover, that it was arthritis, and how is it now?
Can I ask if you're seeing a therapist? as I've been advised to prior to the diagnosis.
I've always journaled, so it's not a stretch - I find it cathartic - and apparently childhood experience is a large part of the diagnostic outcome.
Overall, it appears that we have a lot in common, basically, I'm relieved to know, as I was fed up feeling like a riddle wrapped in an enigma!
Since I’m in it and currently researching the aforementioned in order to glean more insight into late diagnosis,
Hi, this is what I read, and sorry, it wasn't clear. Research is a science and qualified researchers have the complex knowledge and skills in order to conduct valid research. If someone says they're "researching" a topic or issue, it indicates a formal study following the principles/protocols of research. Perhaps if you said you wanted to "learn more" or "gain knowledge or understanding" about a topic or issue, then it would have been clearer.
My point is just for clarification, definitely not to offend you. I'm hoping you'll find the Forum helpful. Wanting to gain knowledge or understand more is great. I hope you get the information you need to do that 
The site is annoying to navigate, but worth the effort to make connections with each other and share info. Sorry, I don't know about the popup. I think there was another reply but it seems to have vanished, we do have a recurring issue with the spam filter occasionally removing genuine posts.
Oh yes, the research and the journalling to make sense of one's whole life in the new light! When I first found out about "female presentation" (though that term is not ideal of course) I wondered if there was anything about me which wasn't autism! And then later realised some of me is ADHD too... But all in a gloriously unique way, just a uniquely autistic way :)
I've had fatigue since I was about 20 and had a bad reaction to flu which they thought was post-viral fatigue or ME but turned out to be arthritis. And then stress/anxiety/burnout, but I did start to wonder if there was something else as well!
Yes, it is a relief to know, and find somewhere I fit. I didn't exactly find it myself - youtube did it for me! It kept suggesting videos about "are you autistic?" and I watched one and here I am! While it would have been nice to know sooner, between "female presentation" and ADHD as well I am just glad to know now as both those things make it less stereotypical and thus often missed.
It's good you found the Forum to connect, learn and get support.
Just to add: the Forum isn't supposed to be used for research purposes (please see the guidelines). Any interest in conducting formal research needs to be approved by the NAS. [I'm a recognised researcher in my field so I agree with the NAS's requirements to ensure the conduction of only valid/reliable research.]
As an older female, I too am interested in issues specific to us. I hope you get the benefits of the Forum - I am a recent participant here but I've received a lot of knowledge, understanding and support. Good Luck!
Hi there - thanks for your reply. Apologies. someone else mentioned FB, I replied to everyone in one email, thinking, that anyone who initially replied would see it. The site is slightly difficult to navigate, as now, I can only see our conversation thread - I’ll take a look in settings later, as there’s a distracting pop-up, that I can’t remove, if you know how to do this, please advise.
Re diagnosis, like you, I’m awaiting an appointment for a formal diagnosis - not sure when that will be. I also self diagnosed around the same time as you, and researching the subject ever since. Currently, alongside the research I’m journaling my early life, in order to gain more clarity and have additional information for the actual assessment.
Yes, you’re probably correct re being diagnosed earlier, personally, I would have liked to have known in my twenties, as again, like you, I’ve had intermittent burnout for decades, that always perplexed me, as I knew what it wasn’t; however, when I eventually sought medical advice re fatigue, it was always diagnosed incorrectly.
Anyway, I’m relieved to know now, as I’ve been questing a long time - I’m just glad that I was proactive enought to find it myself! - so, maybe it is the right time?!
OK that's good to know. Not that it's wrong to be looking for a romantic partner as such, although this forum is not really for that, and does prefer us to not provide any info that could identify us in real life anyway, so you're on board there. There are plenty of us late diagnosed women here! I didn't mention FB, I used the word group meaning category, as in late or pre-diagnosed middle aged women, sorry for any confusion.
So where are you in the process of diagnosis? I had a pre-assessment this week and have an appointment for formal diagnosis next month. I identified myself as autistic in 2020 so have had a while to do loads of research and get used to the idea. It was good to have that confirmed in the pre-diagnosis.
You're so right, it has been too long coming, it would be useful to have known sooner, as long as that knowledge went along with greater understanding too. In many ways I don't feel a diagnosis on its own would have helped me in school, as it would probably have just been a label for bullies to use. But accommodations would have helped! And I might have avoided burnout at uni. But at least we know now.
No, I'm not male... although, before signing up, I did wonder about the potential exposure to that kind of thing, hence won't be inputting any detailed personal information. The main reason I posted is simply, that I want to find a way to converse with women in that particular age bracket, pre, or post diagnosis.Since I’m in it and currently researching the aforementioned in order to glean more insight into late diagnosis, as it’s been a long time coming for women in general. Thanks, I am aware of FB groups, but do not use social media run by Meta, hence decided to check on here, if any women are interested in discussing their experiences.
You need to provide more info. Why do you want to contact just this specific group? Are you in this group yourself and looking for others similar? Or are you looking for a romantic partner? Or trying to sell something? If the first, then the best way is to join in the forum and chat, ideally update your profile with a meaningful nickname rather than the NASnumber and maybe a profile pic of something you like. Then you will find those in the group you are looking for as there are plenty here! Or at the very least share something about yourself and why you want to connect with such people. If you are autistic then I get why you might be reluctant to share too much, but sharing too little can make people wonder what your motivation is.
