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Fear getting old as an autistic person?

Dawn

I do.

I really do. My sensory stuff causes mayhem in medical contexts. There's more as you get older. My GP thinks I "suffer with autism" (God help me!). I fear all medical treatment. I fear all doctor's appointments. How the Hell do I even speak to them when something is wrong.

The only services that exist are for the intellectually impaired or children.

Where do I go? What do I do?

I fear every tiny twinge in my body.

I fear being locked up in an old peoples' home, forced to socialised in bingo games I do not want to participate in; forced to bang a tambereen while a school choir sings.

I fear being left to the mercy of under paid staff in a care home where the state robs you of a life time of struggle which should be left to your kid, while they squander that abusing you.

In the words of The Who: "Hope I die before I get old"

At 58 I am aware that I have already out lived autistic life expectancy. That's 54. I was 56 when diagnosed. I am happy I lived life as an autistic person (albeit I had no idea I was one), but how the Hell do you manage to grow old as an autistic person?

I'm scared. And I am still looking after elderly parents who depend on me and haven't even retired myself yet.

Everything about old age is scary. And I'm scared.

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  • Dawn said:
    Where do I go? What do I do?

    you know.... that is one thing that kept running through my mind constantly, bugging me... as i sat in my parents house my mind was constantly screaming this question none stop. even after i managed to get myself sorted and leave it sometimes comes back for no apparent reason and i have to shut it up in my head by saying nowhere and nothing an your all settled. but its funny seeing you wrtie that here as if you plucked it from my mind, or your mind perhaps screams it too and its a common natural thought that bombards everyones mind maybe?

  • in reply to Caelus

    Age is scary for everyone, naturally. But for us, we know society does not understand how to meet our needs and often isn't willing to. So, it's scarier.

    I think this is intense for me now, because I'm watching my parents go through it knowing I am the only support they've got, while I'm in need of and not getting the support myself.

    All I can do is my best, I guess.

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  • in reply to Caelus

    Age is scary for everyone, naturally. But for us, we know society does not understand how to meet our needs and often isn't willing to. So, it's scarier.

    I think this is intense for me now, because I'm watching my parents go through it knowing I am the only support they've got, while I'm in need of and not getting the support myself.

    All I can do is my best, I guess.

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