Hi.
My partner and I have been going to couples therapy for a few months, and the therapist told me I might have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
I wasn't expecting this news, and it hit me hard, in part because my partner used it to attack me during our arguments (the couples therapist said people with ASD lack empathy, and then my partner commented on one occasion that I "...could not understand because I lacked empathy" and on another occasion, she said: "Other people have feelings too.").
Since then, I have talked to two other therapists who had different opinions about my situation. One of them treated me before for PTSD (I had a psychologically abusive father) and said that my behaviour could stem from it or being highly sensitive (HSP). The other therapist, whom I hired to test me for ASD, decided after two sessions that the tests wouldn't be helpful as he felt I would be too low on the ASD spectrum, if at all. He said he felt he was wasting my money and criticized the couples therapist's approach.
All of this leaves me uncertain about whether or not I have ASD. It's frustrating because I've always struggled to find a sense of self, and the couples therapist's 'diagnosis' adds to my confusion. I'm also questioning the idea that people with ASD lack empathy because it feels simplistic and prejudiced.
It's tough not knowing where I stand. I was confused enough about my identity and this has added another dimension to that confusion. It's not that I mind having ASD, but instead, I worry about being misdiagnosed and 'gaslit', as I feel my partner's motives for wanting me to have ASD are more about her denying her own problems: I've wondered if my partner has ASD or histrionic or borderline personality disorder and it does seem she needs to blame her own problems on me.
Bottom line: I want to figure out the truth about myself so I can move forward in my relationship and myself.
Any thoughts or observations would be appreciated.
Thank you.
