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Looking for advice...and maybe some reassurance

Emma

My name is Emma, I'm 30 years old and I think I may be autistic.  I have spent my entire life feeling different, out of place, not a "real" person.  I had never considered I may be autistic until meeting another female with autism and learning more about how it presents in females. 

I have since done extensive research on autism in females, diagnostic criteria and done some of the assessment tools I have been able to access.  All of these have indicated to me there is a high likelihood of autism.  I should also mention that I have a background in adult nursing and although I don't have a background of looking after people with ASD, I feel confident enough in my education and background to know how to follow assessment tools and have enough clinical suspicion to say that I meet the criteria for diagnosis. 

I guess I'm just scared to speak to a healthcare professional about this.  I have struggled for a long time with my mental health and I don't have a lot of trust in doctors in general.  I feel like they will automatically dismiss me, as they have done with so many other things. I find GP appointments really scary and actually quite intimidating and I wonder if I sometimes don't always get my point across to them in the most coherent way (especially because I normally visit my GP when my anxiety is very high and my brain is all over the place).  I wondered if anyone had any advice about their experiences approaching a their Dr for a referral to ASD diagnosis services?  Have people found it helpful to write things down in form of a letter or something like that? I feel like I'm pretty coherent when I'm writing so would be able to get my point across much better on paper than in person. 

I also wouldn't mind some reassurance that I'm not making all this up in my head?  The more I learn about autism, the more I feel at home. I feel comforted by the fact there are other people out there like me and I'm not alone.  I have never been able to explain why I have felt different my whole life and why life has been one big confusing mess of an experience for me until I learned more about autism.  Have other people felt this way as well? 

Thank you for reading 

Parents

  • Hi Emma,

    So get what you are saying about your GP.  Yes they are dismissive, not because they don't care, but because the communication differences when we try to describe our experiences are not understood by them.  Often our physical experience of all sorts of things can be different.  they don't always understand when we try to describe either physical or emotional matters, don't get when we are in pain, don't get all sorts of things and we can easily end up mistrusting them.  You really aren't alone in this.

    And the finding it easier to write is a classic autistic feature.  because we have time to process and express what we want to say this is easier for many of us, especially with doctors.

    Indeed, when I first realised I was autistic I wrote to my GP, rather than make an appointment.  I sent him the results on my AQ50 and a letter detailing all the reasons why I thought this was the explanation behind my experiences and the reasons why I felt a diagnosis could help me.  He made the referral without me having to see him in person.  I'm terrified of GPs and I only see them when a physical examination is necessary.

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  • Hi Emma,

    So get what you are saying about your GP.  Yes they are dismissive, not because they don't care, but because the communication differences when we try to describe our experiences are not understood by them.  Often our physical experience of all sorts of things can be different.  they don't always understand when we try to describe either physical or emotional matters, don't get when we are in pain, don't get all sorts of things and we can easily end up mistrusting them.  You really aren't alone in this.

    And the finding it easier to write is a classic autistic feature.  because we have time to process and express what we want to say this is easier for many of us, especially with doctors.

    Indeed, when I first realised I was autistic I wrote to my GP, rather than make an appointment.  I sent him the results on my AQ50 and a letter detailing all the reasons why I thought this was the explanation behind my experiences and the reasons why I felt a diagnosis could help me.  He made the referral without me having to see him in person.  I'm terrified of GPs and I only see them when a physical examination is necessary.

Children
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