can social skills be taught?

I keep coming across claims that people with Asperger's Syndrome or HFASD can be taught or shown how to overcome social/communication difficulties. 

This seems to be what underpins help given to people on the spectrum in special schools or learning disability support in mainstream. Or all these consultants who offer training in social skills to school age children (for a fee) because what they achieve by a long arduous process that sorts socialising at school will somehow magically resolve socialising as an adult in an adult world.

It also seems to underlie the assumption that you grow out of it. Hence transition isn't a big issue for abler children who will magicly transform into social butterflies by 18 or 21.

Which is again why so little has been done to better understand the needs of adults. Adults with socialising problems it seems were children who didn't learn their social skills lessons at school and are now paying the price for their indolence and ingratitude. Once "taught" how to conquer social interaction its all your fault if you don't magically get over the rest.

I just wonder what research underpins the confidence that this kind of social coaching in school years has any long term value. Because surely for all the claims made, there has to be evidence. If this was medication or cosmetics there would have to be a substantial body of evidence. Where is the substantial body of evidence that people on the spectrum can be taught social skills for life?

I personally, at the abler end, without a diagnosis (as diagnosed late in life) found ways round formal social interaction by finding out why I got into trouble, finding people who were understanding enough to help me, and then learning the right things to say on cue, which took me decades. But it is still hard work and I still make mistakes.

Even so I still lose credibility if there's background noise, where I lose coherence, or there are two many cross-overs in the dialogue, or I'm unwell or flagging, or I blank out.

And that's only with formal conversation. As it gets less formal, less language based more gestures, nods and inflexions based I lose out rapidly. OK I was self-taught, maybe if I had been "coached" when younger I might have been better at it. But I cannot find published evidence that "coaching" of social skills works long term. It might produce short term benefits for young people in their immediate social contexts, but the root causes haven't been resolved, and there needs to be research that substantiates claims it works long term.

As I have already said, if this was medication or cosmetics there would have to be a substantial body of proof. I don't see why autistic spectrum "cures" don't seem to need a body of proof. At the moment there's just a lot of uncorroborated quackery going on.

I do feel NAS has a duty to pursue (or at least demand) scientific evidence for autism "cures".

No-one should be permitted to claim they can coach social skills unless they can provide proof of long term benefit, into adulthood. The impression that someone can be egged on to manage in a few short-lived social settings is not scientific corroboration of efficacy.

I just think it is time we had some science to this, and science we could see.

Parents
  • longman said:
    The assumption we can learn social communication skills needs to be supported by actual study of the problems that can arise.

    In my opinion, and for want of finding anything that explains this scientiically, I don't believe this can be taught. There are too many reasons why learning isn't enough.

    Maybe some of you who have been "taught"can tell me what I'm not getting.

    Knowing when to stop.  It is easy to go on and on about something that interests you beyond the point where it ceases to interest others. I can learn by observation what signs I might look for that other people are no longer interested, but it is not easy to do this, and I've never been sure exactly what it is I'm looking for. I can work out for myself what might be too long. But if I forget to monitor my audience for signs of loss of interest I can well overshoot their tolerance.

    This is difficult.  My children tell me they are bored/busy and walk away, in fact my youngest will get angry and tell me I'm waffling.  But NTs don't do that.  I would probably know if someone kept looking a lot at their watch (although this would still confuse me as to why they didn't want to listen) or repeatedly turning right round to look at other things.  If people stand there looking I will assume they are interested.  If they don't say, then they must want to listen.  That's how I think, but then I am aware that there are supposedly signs you should pick up on.

    Knowing when someone wants to change the subject, or introduce their own view. I do find it very hard to spot this. To some extent I can try to regulate how long I talk and pause to see if another person wants to interject, but what is the cue I should be looking for.

    I don't think there is a cue is there?  I have a lot of problem on the phone, when I hear a pause I think it's my turn to talk and people get annoyed because they say they didn't finish speaking yet.

    Knowing what is appropriate at any one point in time. The language of context is hard to follow. I know I ought to look for signals that the conversation is changing from serious to humorous to conciliatory to regretful to witty...... But somehow I didn't get a stock of these cues, and it looks like I never will. So I'm often pitching it wrongly.

    I have mistaken sarcasm, and not realised until later that they were being sarcastic.  People seem to be sarcastic a lot.  But it isn't an obvious sarcasm, it's done really deadpan.

    Voice pitch. I a;lways seem to get this wrong, too loud or too quiet for the context.

    I think I am too loud.

    Smiling or looking serious, or looking doubtful - I don't think I do this properly, indeded I'm always being told I don't look right for what I'm saying.

    I think I veer between emotionless and over-emoting facially.

    Knowing which direction in which to look, or who to look at. Seems important, I can never get it right.

    That's really hard.  I can look at people reasonably well when they are talking, but when it's my turn to talk I can't look at all.

    Knowing when to interject or start a new thread. I'm really not at all good at this.

    Concentration. It is hard work trying to follow what is going on. I get tired quickly and sometimes get accused of looking bored or disinterested in the conversation when I'm not really. Fading/blanking is a big day to day problem, so I drift in and out of conversations so people get irritated I don't seem to have been following. Also the time I spend trying to work out what passed a few minutes ago means I miss important cues.

    I do this, I don't think anyone has ever told me I look bored because of it though.

    These are just a few issues I've raised at the moment. Now if this is something learnable, is it written down somewhere I can read up and improve my technique?

    Or do I have to pay some "coach" a fortune for him to explain it to me, if indeed he can?

    And where is it demonstrated that I can easily learn?

Reply
  • longman said:
    The assumption we can learn social communication skills needs to be supported by actual study of the problems that can arise.

    In my opinion, and for want of finding anything that explains this scientiically, I don't believe this can be taught. There are too many reasons why learning isn't enough.

    Maybe some of you who have been "taught"can tell me what I'm not getting.

    Knowing when to stop.  It is easy to go on and on about something that interests you beyond the point where it ceases to interest others. I can learn by observation what signs I might look for that other people are no longer interested, but it is not easy to do this, and I've never been sure exactly what it is I'm looking for. I can work out for myself what might be too long. But if I forget to monitor my audience for signs of loss of interest I can well overshoot their tolerance.

    This is difficult.  My children tell me they are bored/busy and walk away, in fact my youngest will get angry and tell me I'm waffling.  But NTs don't do that.  I would probably know if someone kept looking a lot at their watch (although this would still confuse me as to why they didn't want to listen) or repeatedly turning right round to look at other things.  If people stand there looking I will assume they are interested.  If they don't say, then they must want to listen.  That's how I think, but then I am aware that there are supposedly signs you should pick up on.

    Knowing when someone wants to change the subject, or introduce their own view. I do find it very hard to spot this. To some extent I can try to regulate how long I talk and pause to see if another person wants to interject, but what is the cue I should be looking for.

    I don't think there is a cue is there?  I have a lot of problem on the phone, when I hear a pause I think it's my turn to talk and people get annoyed because they say they didn't finish speaking yet.

    Knowing what is appropriate at any one point in time. The language of context is hard to follow. I know I ought to look for signals that the conversation is changing from serious to humorous to conciliatory to regretful to witty...... But somehow I didn't get a stock of these cues, and it looks like I never will. So I'm often pitching it wrongly.

    I have mistaken sarcasm, and not realised until later that they were being sarcastic.  People seem to be sarcastic a lot.  But it isn't an obvious sarcasm, it's done really deadpan.

    Voice pitch. I a;lways seem to get this wrong, too loud or too quiet for the context.

    I think I am too loud.

    Smiling or looking serious, or looking doubtful - I don't think I do this properly, indeded I'm always being told I don't look right for what I'm saying.

    I think I veer between emotionless and over-emoting facially.

    Knowing which direction in which to look, or who to look at. Seems important, I can never get it right.

    That's really hard.  I can look at people reasonably well when they are talking, but when it's my turn to talk I can't look at all.

    Knowing when to interject or start a new thread. I'm really not at all good at this.

    Concentration. It is hard work trying to follow what is going on. I get tired quickly and sometimes get accused of looking bored or disinterested in the conversation when I'm not really. Fading/blanking is a big day to day problem, so I drift in and out of conversations so people get irritated I don't seem to have been following. Also the time I spend trying to work out what passed a few minutes ago means I miss important cues.

    I do this, I don't think anyone has ever told me I look bored because of it though.

    These are just a few issues I've raised at the moment. Now if this is something learnable, is it written down somewhere I can read up and improve my technique?

    Or do I have to pay some "coach" a fortune for him to explain it to me, if indeed he can?

    And where is it demonstrated that I can easily learn?

Children
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