can social skills be taught?

I keep coming across claims that people with Asperger's Syndrome or HFASD can be taught or shown how to overcome social/communication difficulties. 

This seems to be what underpins help given to people on the spectrum in special schools or learning disability support in mainstream. Or all these consultants who offer training in social skills to school age children (for a fee) because what they achieve by a long arduous process that sorts socialising at school will somehow magically resolve socialising as an adult in an adult world.

It also seems to underlie the assumption that you grow out of it. Hence transition isn't a big issue for abler children who will magicly transform into social butterflies by 18 or 21.

Which is again why so little has been done to better understand the needs of adults. Adults with socialising problems it seems were children who didn't learn their social skills lessons at school and are now paying the price for their indolence and ingratitude. Once "taught" how to conquer social interaction its all your fault if you don't magically get over the rest.

I just wonder what research underpins the confidence that this kind of social coaching in school years has any long term value. Because surely for all the claims made, there has to be evidence. If this was medication or cosmetics there would have to be a substantial body of evidence. Where is the substantial body of evidence that people on the spectrum can be taught social skills for life?

I personally, at the abler end, without a diagnosis (as diagnosed late in life) found ways round formal social interaction by finding out why I got into trouble, finding people who were understanding enough to help me, and then learning the right things to say on cue, which took me decades. But it is still hard work and I still make mistakes.

Even so I still lose credibility if there's background noise, where I lose coherence, or there are two many cross-overs in the dialogue, or I'm unwell or flagging, or I blank out.

And that's only with formal conversation. As it gets less formal, less language based more gestures, nods and inflexions based I lose out rapidly. OK I was self-taught, maybe if I had been "coached" when younger I might have been better at it. But I cannot find published evidence that "coaching" of social skills works long term. It might produce short term benefits for young people in their immediate social contexts, but the root causes haven't been resolved, and there needs to be research that substantiates claims it works long term.

As I have already said, if this was medication or cosmetics there would have to be a substantial body of proof. I don't see why autistic spectrum "cures" don't seem to need a body of proof. At the moment there's just a lot of uncorroborated quackery going on.

I do feel NAS has a duty to pursue (or at least demand) scientific evidence for autism "cures".

No-one should be permitted to claim they can coach social skills unless they can provide proof of long term benefit, into adulthood. The impression that someone can be egged on to manage in a few short-lived social settings is not scientific corroboration of efficacy.

I just think it is time we had some science to this, and science we could see.

Parents
  • NAS11521 said:
    We can become so skilled that we can "fool most of the people most of the  time" but the effort will always cause stress and some discomfort that we are being - in a sense - dishonest with others.

    Yes, and dishonest towards ourselves, and our true nature.  It goes so against the grain and I feel like we are being unfair to ourselves, but are facing an enormous pressure to comply.  It kind of makes my blood boil when I think about it.  We are compromising ourselves.  I want to be able to just ask logical questions of people without all the social niceties, I want to be able to ask what comes into my head without being looked at like a freak, I want not to have to politely smile and say hello and answer inane questions about the weather or things about myself without it being thought of as rude.  Why are things "not the done thing"?  I mean I have come some way since my childhood when I blurted out things which I now realise, were mean, but it was stuff that just came to mind and fell out of my mouth, now I have more of a censor in place, but I just feel very bothered by the fact that if I went about being as forthright, honest, direct and blunt as I naturally want to it would cause flaming arguments and fisticuffs!

    It's a no-win situation for adults because the more skilled we are the less likely we are to be able to convince a GP or a diagnostic psychiatrist that we have a problem at all.

    Absolutely.  And this is so true particularly for females on the spectrum as we have more pressure to communicate from an early age.

    I can understand how parents of children on the spectrum will grasp at any chance of helping them to be "normal" because they're afraid that otherwise they won't lead a happy and fulfilled life but I wonder who many of those children, when  they reach adulthood, regress without the help they received during childhood.

    ...or just cave in to Aspie Burnout from trying to maintain what has been drummed into them...

Reply
  • NAS11521 said:
    We can become so skilled that we can "fool most of the people most of the  time" but the effort will always cause stress and some discomfort that we are being - in a sense - dishonest with others.

    Yes, and dishonest towards ourselves, and our true nature.  It goes so against the grain and I feel like we are being unfair to ourselves, but are facing an enormous pressure to comply.  It kind of makes my blood boil when I think about it.  We are compromising ourselves.  I want to be able to just ask logical questions of people without all the social niceties, I want to be able to ask what comes into my head without being looked at like a freak, I want not to have to politely smile and say hello and answer inane questions about the weather or things about myself without it being thought of as rude.  Why are things "not the done thing"?  I mean I have come some way since my childhood when I blurted out things which I now realise, were mean, but it was stuff that just came to mind and fell out of my mouth, now I have more of a censor in place, but I just feel very bothered by the fact that if I went about being as forthright, honest, direct and blunt as I naturally want to it would cause flaming arguments and fisticuffs!

    It's a no-win situation for adults because the more skilled we are the less likely we are to be able to convince a GP or a diagnostic psychiatrist that we have a problem at all.

    Absolutely.  And this is so true particularly for females on the spectrum as we have more pressure to communicate from an early age.

    I can understand how parents of children on the spectrum will grasp at any chance of helping them to be "normal" because they're afraid that otherwise they won't lead a happy and fulfilled life but I wonder who many of those children, when  they reach adulthood, regress without the help they received during childhood.

    ...or just cave in to Aspie Burnout from trying to maintain what has been drummed into them...

Children
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