Rule 5 is a classic example of a rule that discriminates against autistic people

I want to go on the record rule 5 (yes it’s rule 5 not 4) is a bad rule. Let me quote it:

”Be nice to one another and enjoy chatting with others. We encourage conversation and respectful debate; please be aware that individuals may give opinions which are not shared by other members. Insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated. ”

its exactly the sort of rule I’ve had to call organisations out for in the context of discrimination against autistic people. Why? Because it’s subjective and vague? What is nice? How do you define nice? It’s one of those words where 2 people can have quite different views on what is and isn’t nice. In fact often people struggle to define what nice is without contradicting themselves 5 minutes later when you point something out that doesn’t fit with their interpretation. Peoples approach to nice tends to be ‘I know it when I see it.’ And when you get a rule that requires a highly subjective judgment it’s a huge issue for autistic people.

  1. autistic people are put on the position of having to ‘mind read’ a decision maker (in this case the mod) and guess how they will interpret a word in a given case. And autistic people are bad at this sort of mind reading.
  2. Because there is no public record of how the word (nice) has been interpreted in the past, and because no rule forced the decision maker to act consistently, the decision maker (mod) can change their mind or the person making the decision may change and the autistic person has no way to know how the rule will be interpreted by looking at the way it was applied in the past.
  3. Because the word (nice) is interpreted on a case by case basis it opens the door to unconscious bias against autistic people. The double empathy problem is well established and there is evidence to suggest that autistic people are viewed as less likeable because of the double empathy problem. I think it’s obvious that a person seen as less likeable is likely to be viewed with greater suspicion, to have their actions interpreted in a less favourable light. If it’s easy to come up with competing arguments as to whether something is or isn’t nice the temptation will be to pick the arguments based on whether you view the autistic person as nice.

Now small organisations that don’t have a lot of resources to spare on resolving disputes love rules like this because they are catch all rules. The definition is so wide and flexible they can use it to justify just about anything they do. And because their dispute resolution process in internal and behind closed doors there is no way for anyone to challenge them over inconsistencies. It means in practice they can just empower a bunch of people (mods for example) and tell them to use their ‘common sense’ interpreting the rules with out having to exercise and oversight or worry if the rules are being interpreted fairly. It also means if there is a person the organisation views as a nuisance it’s pretty easy to fabricate a reason to get rid of them using a vague rule with out them having much comeback.

For an organisation It’s a very cost effective way to deal with disputes that has very little chance of returning results that will make the organisations life harder later. But applied to autistic people it’s hugely unfair. I mean I think it’s unfair in general but it’s more unfair towards autistic people for the reasons described.

There really are only 2 ways to fix it.

  1. You have to provide objective definitions of things. You can’t just use words like ‘nice,’ ‘offensive,’ etc. you have to provide definitions that are as objectively as possible.
  2. you have to bind yourself to be consistent and open in the way you interpret rules. Meaning you have to openly declare not only that some specific thing broke a rule but explain your reasoning as to why. It wouldn’t be enough to say ‘broke rule 5.’ It would have to be “you said A which implies B which given C is a breach of rule 5.”

Personally I’d be very surprised if the mods here had the time to go around exposing the reasoning for every moderation decision in a post. It would be far better to just change rule 5 to something a bit more objective like ‘no insulting language or malicious personal attacks’ (https://youtu.be/aaO4Q4t0aTs)

More generally I think this is a good opportunity to talk about how vague and subjective rules are unfair to autistic people.

  • Makes me think of 'I don't want to be nice' by John Cooper Clarke.

    Some individuals take things too personally. Aided, and abetted, by modern psychotherapy.

  • Debate is often about some thing. Both respectful and useful debate involve critically evaluating that thing, whether it's a system or belief or principle or behaviour. 

    Most people are not taught how to evaluate things and might confuse this with attacking the individual. Unfortunately, the modern examples aren't giants in exemplifying ethics. The political field is now a page from Lord of the Flies.

    Perhaps instead of saying what one can or cannot do in a forum for those often not given a proper education in society, these 'rules' could help give specific advice on constructing a good argument, analysing the premise while taking caution to still afford the other human respect. This isn't difficult, and the library will be packed with all kinds of historic accounts of how to do this well. 

    It's important to have free and open debate with out being oppressively cruel. 

  • As far as I know there is no crime of ‘hate speech’ as such in the uk. There are hate crimes but a hate crime can only be considered a hate crime if it would still have been a crime regardless of how it was motivated. That’s more or less the legal definition.

    at one time the police were recording non crime ‘hate incidents’ as if they were crimes and were told of by the courts on the basis that it infringed peoples human right to freedom of expression. www.lawgazette.co.uk/.../5110987.article

    also as such I don’t think it is moving the gole posts. In my opening post I made it clear I was using rule 5 as an example for a class of rules rather than being that concerned with the rule itself. Secondly the slippery slope ‘fallacy’ isn’t really a fallacy.

    we’ve seen lots of authoritarian regimes start by infringing little rights and working their way up to big ones. But that same pattern can play out anywhere.

  • Do you think autism is an excuse to break the law without consequence? Because laws are rules too. If you engage in what-about-ism then it stands to reason others can and must be expected to, it's just a slippery slope fallacy to jump from criticising rule 5 to criticising rule 7 and moving the goal posts. When ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone can say you won't be persuaded to like a rule you simply find inconvenient, especially if you are at risk of falling foul of it by your own actions. It stands to reason if you are willing to be civil then there shouldn't even be an issue with the rule existing for you. And it pains me to say that as I know you are capable of civility from other conversations we had that were perfectly so.

  • Except that rule 7 probably falls fowl of the same issue it’s just less obvious. How do you define hate speech? It’s very difficult to define objectively. Because I think you’d agree there has to be a distinction between hate speech and speech that you hate.

    I'm dyslexic. If someone criticises my spelling or grammar is that hate speech? You could argue it is. People have made threads here complaining about hard to read posts with bad spelling and long run on sentences. Is that hate speech targeted at dyslexic people or just them venting about something they find annoying?

    how is the pronouns thing any different? Is it targeted at the people who feel the need to declare pronouns (aka trans people) or at the practice of declaring pronouns some find annoying.

  • thats the same everywhere. on the internet no one can understand your meaning or tone, they naturally then see everything negative when it may not be negative, they see things as a attack when theres no attack in it. but when you think on anything for too long you end up seeing the attack or the bad in it. we are all naturally cynical and see the negative in everything. then in seeing negative where there is none everyone ends up offending themselves by wrongly perceiving what they read as being negative against them.

    also british people are naturally more cynical than any other type of people lol i guess because we are used to everyone and our institutions trying to rob and cheat us all the time. we cant trust anyone.

  • My problem is that I continually and repeatedly offend people without even realising it.  I honestly don't know how to change.  

    I express an honest opinion and people get upset over nothing.

  • so adding joke pronouns to their profile would be a way of making fun of the practice but not nesiceraly the people who adhere to the practice. So is that sort of joke ‘not nice?’

    @ Peter

    Except there is harm commited to minorities which lands it under hate speech (Rule 7) it makes people with less obvious pronouns that need to be shared so they can be used feel unwelcome in this space, also the practice of sharing pronouns is not forced upon anyone here so it's completely unprovoked to make fun of sharing pronouns in the first place and can only be read as a violation of rule 7.

    @ Caelus
    No really it doesn't make me out to be a bad person for not enjoying talking to certain people, I understand you are also autistic and might have missed the subtext, but that is only an argument for clear language, not against a rule to avoid being deliberately nasty to people.
    Also if you admit you cannot adhere to a simple rule of not deliberately being nasty that tells me you admit having the issue, there are others with the same views as you who are capable of remaining civil and do so, so there is no special allowance for you if you are simply unwilling to moderate your own language.

  • theres also another fault with the rule... "enjoy chatting with others"

    if you dont enjoy chatting with me, your in breach of the rule... do you see the problem there? you have every right to not like me or enjoy chatting with me but this rule makes you out to be the bad person for that. the rule is wrong any way we look at it. people have a right to not like chatting with anyone they dont like chatting with.

    i know alot wont like chatting with me, but that shouldnt be a breach of a rule lol

  • I think you make an interesting point. I hope I am a nice person and I try to be kind and respectful to everyone but, as you say, niceness is an abstract concept and as autistic people we are not good with abstract concepts. Some of us may need clear rules and examples of those rules or we cannot understand it and if we cannot understand it we are more likely to fall foul of it.

    Personally I dont get involved in some of the more controversial topics on here, not because I dont have opinions on them (I do) but because that is not what I use this forum for and I prefer to escape from the issues of todays society on here rather than debate them. 

    However, I know for some people this is a useful debating forum and a place where they feel they can express their opinions freely. The problem with modern society though is that the biggest crime seems to be causing "Offence". However offence is in the eye of the beholder. What offends me will not offend you and what offends you will not offend me etc. I feel like a lot of us struggle in this modern world as we either cannot understand the abstract nature of causing offence or understand it but disagree on a fundemental level with the principle behind it. 

    My own personal view is that I try not to say things that I know will hurt people or to offend them unncessarily. However, there are certain things that I believe in standing up for what I believe with and I guess that may offend some people. I think it depends how you say it, if you say something with kindness people should take it the right way even if it isnt what they want to hear. Sadly this does not always work out in practice though. 

    A good example of offence not always being a bad thing is that when Gallelio said the earth revolved around the sun it caused a lot of people offence. He was right to say it though, cos it turned out to be true ( I believe he was even put on the rack for it I think)

    Anyway, just realised Ive waffled a lot sorry

  • I know you’re taking a break from the forums for a bit but other may wish to respond to this point.

    so what if the ‘not nice’ behaviour is making a joke not targeted at any. One person but that some people or a group of people might find offensive. Suppose hypothetically someone tried to list their pronouns on their profile as something silly for a joke? Would that be ‘not nice.’

    i mean people have respectfully said they don’t think the trend of declaring pronouns is very clever or good. Presumably this doesn’t break rule 5 so long as they don’t get insulting or personal.

    so adding joke pronouns to their profile would be a way of making fun of the practice but not nesiceraly the people who adhere to the practice. So is that sort of joke ‘not nice?’

    it’s not always that clear is it.

  • Insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated. ”

    Actually I've never had an issue understanding Rule 5  because of the context given at the end.
    There is a clear line between (quoting for example) "I disagree with you and think you are incorrect" VS "you are wrong and you need your head checked (with or without mental health related slurs or other hate speech)".
    And if you work from census "nice" or rather civility does have a means by which it can be measured. Cheifest being treat others without malice.