Shame and anxiety about special interest?

Ok, I’m not going to talk about what my special interest is because it’s on the “spicy/saucy/naughty” side (nothing illegal I will add) and I’d rather not get banned from this space.

Because of its nature and societies general views on such things, I can end up feeling very anxious about it and get a sense of shame. It’s something I really love to read and learn about but at times it just feels like this impossible thing to do as I just have this sense that I shouldn’t be enjoying this sort of stuff. It’s really hard to talk to people about it and find other like minded people who are ok with you just info dumping about it.

Also because of my additional support needs it can be really hard to be involve and do things around it and that I want to do. It can just leave me with this sense of being unfulfilled and inferior to others. I struggle to self advocate and express what I want, and when I do I can come across as pushy or demanding or obsessive about something, I just can’t seem to get a balance.

I’m ranting a bit now, just wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and feelings around their special interests and being able to take part?

Parents
  • I think I'm a little ashamed I love Lego so much because it's seen as a kids thing. It helps now that Lego are doing sets targeted at adults though like the floral collections which I adore and have nearly all of. 

  • Please don't be. I remember this moment when I was playing with Lego aged 13 or 14, and my Dad (he was slightly irritated at the time about something I think) said 'Don't you think it's about time you put that away for good, you're getting a bit old for toys'. I was instantly mortified and I put the Lego away never to see the light of day again.

    Cut to many years later. I'm listening to a podcast and one of the hosts is older than me, and never stopped playing with and collecting Lego his entire life. Unapologetically. And it's now perfectly cool/acceptable too, all sorts of ages are catered for. Not that we should ever have been waiting for society's blessing!

  • Aww that's so sad. My mum wouldn't let me have Lego as a kid because "you're a girl" but my dad made up for it with a scalectric set and remote controlled Ferrari :)

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