Shame and anxiety about special interest?

Ok, I’m not going to talk about what my special interest is because it’s on the “spicy/saucy/naughty” side (nothing illegal I will add) and I’d rather not get banned from this space.

Because of its nature and societies general views on such things, I can end up feeling very anxious about it and get a sense of shame. It’s something I really love to read and learn about but at times it just feels like this impossible thing to do as I just have this sense that I shouldn’t be enjoying this sort of stuff. It’s really hard to talk to people about it and find other like minded people who are ok with you just info dumping about it.

Also because of my additional support needs it can be really hard to be involve and do things around it and that I want to do. It can just leave me with this sense of being unfulfilled and inferior to others. I struggle to self advocate and express what I want, and when I do I can come across as pushy or demanding or obsessive about something, I just can’t seem to get a balance.

I’m ranting a bit now, just wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and feelings around their special interests and being able to take part?

Parents
  • Hi Daniel,

    Sorry to hear you're feeling this with your special interest. I can understand why you do and why it makes you anxious but I feel that we only have one life and who knows how long anyone's got so you should try to embrace yourself and enjoy what you enjoy. It doesn't break the law and your happiness and enjoyment is really all that matters.

    Numbers right when they say about making peace. If you can't then it will always be a problem that drags you to the bottom.

    I have a special interest which doesn't break the law, not a kink either but is a little unusual which I keep to myself. It used to really bother me but I embrace it and myself now and I'm happier for it.

  • Thank you for the response. Yeah, I am trying to make that peace and go out and get what I want from life, but it can be pretty difficult and overwhelming after a life time of hiding, but it’s good to know other experience and feel similar.

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