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Shame and anxiety about special interest?

Daniel

Ok, I’m not going to talk about what my special interest is because it’s on the “spicy/saucy/naughty” side (nothing illegal I will add) and I’d rather not get banned from this space.

Because of its nature and societies general views on such things, I can end up feeling very anxious about it and get a sense of shame. It’s something I really love to read and learn about but at times it just feels like this impossible thing to do as I just have this sense that I shouldn’t be enjoying this sort of stuff. It’s really hard to talk to people about it and find other like minded people who are ok with you just info dumping about it.

Also because of my additional support needs it can be really hard to be involve and do things around it and that I want to do. It can just leave me with this sense of being unfulfilled and inferior to others. I struggle to self advocate and express what I want, and when I do I can come across as pushy or demanding or obsessive about something, I just can’t seem to get a balance.

I’m ranting a bit now, just wondering if anyone else has similar thoughts and feelings around their special interests and being able to take part?

Parents

  • Hey Daniel. 

    "(nothing illegal I will add)" - this, and your own personal comfort levels in what you want to share relatively anonymously on a public forum, is all that matters. I'm sure nobody here would want to kink-shame you. Sorry to hear you're less empowered around whatever it is than you'd like, and maybe in the future there'll be some path towards greater self-agency in that area for you.

    It must be frustrating not to be able to talk about it, or feel unsure that you can without fear of (hopefully unlikley) condemnation. Are there maybe forums/online spaces dedicated to that specific niche where you can chat more freely with definitely likeminded people?  

  • in reply to Shardovan

    Hi, thanks for response. There are places, but honestly, I really struggle interacting online. This forum is probably the most I ever managed to interact online. I worry a lot about how I come across, and honestly, people online can be pretty mean or text can be easily misunderstood.

    I’m sure no one here would kink shame, but I still feel this forum isn’t the place to engage in that sort of talk.

  • in reply to Daniel

    Fair. I slightly misunderstood I think, it makes sense that you’d prefer to stick to generalities and I appreciate that you really just want to feel like you’re not the only one with complicating factors around your special interest. 

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