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Non understanding people!

NAS85627

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for dealing with people who do not understand autistic thinking and get very unkind and nasty reactions? 
I get this at times from my family. Today was a classic example as I did not feel well so did not want to go to a pub. I didn’t communicate that I was unwell and said something else instead. I was accused of being nasty and selfish for not going and have been shouted at. This reaction to me then triggers a lot of repetitive negative thought about myself and I will now experience high anxiety and stress for days as I struggle to ignore it and move on. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with these types of people and also how to stop obsessing over it? I’ve tried not getting involved with nasty people but I end up cutting a lot of people out my life. I will end up a hermit at this rate. 

Parents

  • I am already a hermit lol. I would just try and get more comfortable with telling them how it is. I can’t go out today because x,y,z; maybe we can go out next week instead…..

    If they don’t accept your reasons then they have an issue. Not you. And you shouldn’t feel bad about it. They are rude. I can’t give any real advice, as I would simply give them a piece of my mind, and then ignore them. Nice people don’t verbally attack you when you do something they don’t like.

Reply

  • I am already a hermit lol. I would just try and get more comfortable with telling them how it is. I can’t go out today because x,y,z; maybe we can go out next week instead…..

    If they don’t accept your reasons then they have an issue. Not you. And you shouldn’t feel bad about it. They are rude. I can’t give any real advice, as I would simply give them a piece of my mind, and then ignore them. Nice people don’t verbally attack you when you do something they don’t like.

Children
  • in reply to Catlover

    I agree. It is not your responsibility to make people empathetic if they are not. I think this is a widespread struggle. People don´t realize you experience the world differently. They just assume you are lying. It´s easier for them to put effort to understand. I usually say I do not feel well and even though I don´t say I feel sick, people take it that way. In my experience, it´s easier to say that than try to make them understand. You cannot have a full-on heart-to-heart conversation about your experiences with every person you meet/know.

    If they are close to you, then it´s good to have some kind of a phrase set up so they know immediately what´s going on. After having a good conversation about the whole thing.