Earlier today I was exploring research ideas an concepts, and getting more and more ideas. I was getting really excited. Then something triggered a memory and that set off similar memories, not positive. There was so much noise in my head. I started rocking and holding my head, and I was desperately trying to mask it and push through it. Then I started to feel unwell. I had to go out on an errand and thought the fresh air would help. I started feeling really disconnected and my peripheral vision was out of focus. The bright noisy shop was unsettling and people suddenly appearing near me was scary. I was feeling really unwell. I had to ask for something at a counter and had to force the words. The short walk home and I felt really wrong. Managed to tell husband that I needed to lie down. I grabbed my dressing gown and pulled it over my head and just lay there. At some point I fell asleep. Got woken up awhile later because someone shouted. I just lay on my bed unable to move for a long time. My kids came in and chatted to me and all I need was stare at them.
I was feeling very drained, shaky and more jumpy than usual.
Then my kids started bickering and I could hear then fiddling with something (they are not little) and their arguing and the clicking noises got to me. I screamed and shouted so aggressively.
This was a little while ago.
I still feel so drained, shaky and jumpy.
Could someone please let me know what happened, I really want to understand.
