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Help/advice

Minnie

Hello to everyone

I am new here and I apologise if the information I am asking is somewhere on this site.  

I have deliberately not read much as yet.  My reasons are I am waiting for assessment and I thought I should wait to see what the consultant says first.

A brief history:  

I am 53 years old and have suffered from mental health problems all my life and I do mean all my life.  I have been given lots of labels over the years, some I agreed with and some not.  Some of the therapies I have been put through have actually made me worse.  It  never seemed to add up.  To cut a very long story short I was diagnosed with ADHD September 2021.  During this assessment the consultant noted that I had a lot of autistic traits which would be worth looking into further.  I have my assessment in April.  

It has led me to get all of my medical records as I have no one left to fill in the blanks from my childhood.  As I said I have tried not to look into autism too much in case you start giving yourself the diagnosis, if that makes sense.  

I am feeling quite distressed at the moment because my records are not happy reading at all.  I just wondered if anyone could clarify if any of the problems I had as a child could be linked to autism.  It is important for me to try and get some answers as to why I find life so extremely difficult.

Do children have sleeping problems?  I was put on medication to help me sleep from the age of 2!  

Being very accident prone, falling over and losing balance.

Not wanting to make friends.  Liked to be on my own but very clingy/possessive with my mum.

Also as an adult I am in a constant state of overwhelm.  I can't move forward if I think there is a lot to do.  It is like I just get stuck.

Sorry for so many questions.  Any help would be much appreciated.

Many thanks

Minnie

Parents

  • Hello and welcome to the community Relaxed

    I'm a similar age to you and received my diagnosis three years ago. It is quite common unfortunately for autistic females or our age to suffer a lifetime of poor mental health and acquire a variety of labels along the way. Like you the therapies I had (for anxiety) actually made it worse.

    It can be distressing to revisit the traumatic times earlier in life. I found that too and the process continued post diagnosis, as I re-evaluated past events through an autistic lens.

    It is up to you how much research you want to do at this stage. In one respect it can be useful to be prepared with examples of autistic traits from throughout your life. 

    Personally I did a lot of research prior to seeking assessment. Then while I was on the waiting list (for over two years) I stopped completely and did not do any. This was mainly because the assessment was so anxiety inducing for me that I couldn't bear to think about it. Since I have been diagnosed I have done a lot more research. You could say it's become a special interest for me.

    Minnie said:
    Do children have sleeping problems?  I was put on medication to help me sleep from the age of 2!  

    Autistic children can suffer from sleeping problems. There is some information about it on here.

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/physical-health/sleep/parents

    It could also be related to ADHD I believe. 

    Minnie said:
    Being very accident prone, falling over and losing balance.

    I've been the same throughout my life. I now understand it is dyspraxia which is closely linked to autism.

    Minnie said:
    Not wanting to make friends.  Liked to be on my own but very clingy/possessive with my mum.

    Again I've been the same throughout my life.

    Minnie said:
    Also as an adult I am in a constant state of overwhelm.  I can't move forward if I think there is a lot to do.  It is like I just get stuck.

    Same again. I cannot multitask and I have to focus on one thing at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed. The getting stuck part is autistic inertia.

    I hope your assessment goes well and you finally get the answers you deserve. You are very welcome to stick around here and ask any further questions you want to.

  • in reply to Autonomistic

    Hi Autonomistic thank you for the welcome and your reply.  I am sorry to hear that you also have had lifelong problems with wrong diagnosis.  It really is quite astounding.

    Autistic inertia wow, wow and wow.  That will be my bed time read tonight.  I have honestly thought I was going mad.  It causes so much frustration and upset.  I feel as if I can understand why I might stop beating myself up so much.

    Can I ask did diagnosis bring relief for you?

Reply
  • in reply to Autonomistic

    Hi Autonomistic thank you for the welcome and your reply.  I am sorry to hear that you also have had lifelong problems with wrong diagnosis.  It really is quite astounding.

    Autistic inertia wow, wow and wow.  That will be my bed time read tonight.  I have honestly thought I was going mad.  It causes so much frustration and upset.  I feel as if I can understand why I might stop beating myself up so much.

    Can I ask did diagnosis bring relief for you?

Children
  • in reply to Autonomistic

    You are describing my feelings exactly.  I am trying not to get carried away in case I am told no you aren't autistic.

    I will write more after my assessment.

    Thank you for responding

  • in reply to Minnie

    Most definitely it brought a great sense of relief. I had felt like a failure for so many years. Previously I couldn't understand why I couldn't seem to cope with things that didn't bother others. The harder I pushed myself the more I suffered breakdowns and burnouts. Now finally I understood that it wasn't my fault.

    It hasn't been all positive though. I've described the post diagnostic journey as an emotional rollercoaster and noticed others have used that term too. As someone who doesn't tend to feel or understand emotions until they become overwhelming it has been a tough journey.

    There has been anger about why nobody picked it up earlier and the lack of any support or understanding from others. Also there is the distress that comes from delving into past memories and a sense of loss for how different life might have been if I'd known at a younger age.