Going to try and get diagnosed

Bless you.  Oh boy, where do I start?  I've been there.

BPD is the most common misdiagnosis for unidentified autistic women and typically once they have slapped that one the record (they did that to me and didn't even tell me), they often refuse to even look at it again.  All your communication difficulties with them will be seen as BPD game playing as opposed to a legitimate concern for you. What they mean by "that's your BPD talking" is that they have decided for you what you feel, instead of actually listening to anything you say about what you do feel.  It must just be you trying to wiggle out of a stigmatised diagnosis and manipulate them, in their view.  Meanwhile putting an autistic person through therapy and protocols designed for EUPD, if they don't actually have it, can be very, very damaging.  Sadly, GPs follow the MH lead on this because they are experts neither in neurodiversity nor in PDs and know nothing.

What's worse is that autism and EUPD/BPD are not exclusionary diagnoses. And the likelihood is should you get an autism diagnosis, MH will say ok, so you are also Autistic too and they might treat that as some sort of adjunct condition basically because I think MH know very little about autism either.

That said, I don't want to be all doom and gloom here.  BPD/EUPD is also the most common diagnosis to be rescinded following an autism diagnosis in women.  But to get there the professionals need to wrap their heads around the fact that they could have mistaken one for the other.  You are quite right, of course, to expect the NHS to look at this again but getting them to do that can be a battle.

When I discovered that that misdiagnosis was on my file, it was subsequent to my autism diagnosis.  I then had to privately source a well qualified psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist with good reputations, who were experts in both areas and able with confidence to detect when the conditions are co-morbid and when the one has been mistaken for the other, invite them to interrogate me in depth for the existence of any kind of PD and then put the proof that I had none in front to the psychiatrist who had slapped that on my file without ever discussing my mental health with me.  He back tracked pretty damn fast because he knew I'd just had a proper assessment by people who knew what they were talking about, that he hadn't bothered doing.

Basically, what I am saying is that there is hope.  There are professionals out there who are expert in both conditions and can clear up your diagnostic position, but it might be hit and miss as to whether you get to the right one through the NHS.

Whether you go private or have an autism assessment through the NHS, I think a good strategy is to say up front that you have an EUPD diagnosis which you don't feel fits and fear that autism may have been mistaken as such and could they please thoroughly assess you for both because you would just like the truth to get the right support as opposed to the wrong support.  In other words, get them looked at in one go by the same people.  If I had known about that misdiagnosis when I had my autism assessment I could have done that.  I'm fuming I wasn't told and therefore had to go through even more stress and expense.

For your GP's purposes it might help to line up the criteria for both and note why you do or don't feel each apply, such that they can see the difference.  If that's all a bit much for a rushed five min appointment, you might try writing it in a letter to take with you.

The other thing that might help significantly is to get an advocate.  I did through this process.  It's a free service and ought to be able to help communicate with your GP and MH and bat your corner a bit.

I feel the need to add a line or two here about EUPD.  I know there is a whole debate about the legitimacy of the EUPD diagnosis per se and another as to whether for some people PTSD or complex PTSD are not also confused with BPD/EUPD with equally disastrous result.  I'm not qualified to get into that.  However, I have to say there are people, autistic or otherwise who do feel the EUPD diagnosis fits and I feel so sorry for them that this diagnosis is so stigmatised and that they are often poorly treated by mental and general health care professionals.  This isn't acceptable.  I also think that they are brave in wanting to tackle their problems whatever the true cause and deserve more support than they get.  I certainly do not personally take a view EUPD = bad, autism = good.  I am merely a strong believer that everyone deserves their truth and to have their record straight, because without that no one is in a position to help themselves.  I am also a strong believer that MH should be more open minded than they are.  Mental health is not like a broken leg.  You can't X-ray that and point to the break.  So much about diagnosing mental health issues is subjective, which really ought to have them perpetually open to re-examination.

Good luck with it and stay strong.  I am really feeling it for you here.  But there is hope.  Where MH get it wrong, this can and does get corrected and I think some professionals are beginning to develop some awareness that the two can be confused.

Bless you.  Oh boy, where do I start?  I've been there.

BPD is the most common misdiagnosis for unidentified autistic women and typically once they have slapped that one the record (they did that to me and didn't even tell me), they often refuse to even look at it again.  All your communication difficulties with them will be seen as BPD game playing as opposed to a legitimate concern for you. What they mean by "that's your BPD talking" is that they have decided for you what you feel, instead of actually listening to anything you say about what you do feel.  It must just be you trying to wiggle out of a stigmatised diagnosis and manipulate them, in their view.  Meanwhile putting an autistic person through therapy and protocols designed for EUPD, if they don't actually have it, can be very, very damaging.  Sadly, GPs follow the MH lead on this because they are experts neither in neurodiversity nor in PDs and know nothing.

What's worse is that autism and EUPD/BPD are not exclusionary diagnoses. And the likelihood is should you get an autism diagnosis, MH will say ok, so you are also Autistic too and they might treat that as some sort of adjunct condition basically because I think MH know very little about autism either.

That said, I don't want to be all doom and gloom here.  BPD/EUPD is also the most common diagnosis to be rescinded following an autism diagnosis in women.  But to get there the professionals need to wrap their heads around the fact that they could have mistaken one for the other.  You are quite right, of course, to expect the NHS to look at this again but getting them to do that can be a battle.

When I discovered that that misdiagnosis was on my file, it was subsequent to my autism diagnosis.  I then had to privately source a well qualified psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist with good reputations, who were experts in both areas and able with confidence to detect when the conditions are co-morbid and when the one has been mistaken for the other, invite them to interrogate me in depth for the existence of any kind of PD and then put the proof that I had none in front to the psychiatrist who had slapped that on my file without ever discussing my mental health with me.  He back tracked pretty damn fast because he knew I'd just had a proper assessment by people who knew what they were talking about, that he hadn't bothered doing.

Basically, what I am saying is that there is hope.  There are professionals out there who are expert in both conditions and can clear up your diagnostic position, but it might be hit and miss as to whether you get to the right one through the NHS.

Whether you go private or have an autism assessment through the NHS, I think a good strategy is to say up front that you have an EUPD diagnosis which you don't feel fits and fear that autism may have been mistaken as such and could they please thoroughly assess you for both because you would just like the truth to get the right support as opposed to the wrong support.  In other words, get them looked at in one go by the same people.  If I had known about that misdiagnosis when I had my autism assessment I could have done that.  I'm fuming I wasn't told and therefore had to go through even more stress and expense.

For your GP's purposes it might help to line up the criteria for both and note why you do or don't feel each apply, such that they can see the difference.  If that's all a bit much for a rushed five min appointment, you might try writing it in a letter to take with you.

The other thing that might help significantly is to get an advocate.  I did through this process.  It's a free service and ought to be able to help communicate with your GP and MH and bat your corner a bit.

I feel the need to add a line or two here about EUPD.  I know there is a whole debate about the legitimacy of the EUPD diagnosis per se and another as to whether for some people PTSD or complex PTSD are not also confused with BPD/EUPD with equally disastrous result.  I'm not qualified to get into that.  However, I have to say there are people, autistic or otherwise who do feel the EUPD diagnosis fits and I feel so sorry for them that this diagnosis is so stigmatised and that they are often poorly treated by mental and general health care professionals.  This isn't acceptable.  I also think that they are brave in wanting to tackle their problems whatever the true cause and deserve more support than they get.  I certainly do not personally take a view EUPD = bad, autism = good.  I am merely a strong believer that everyone deserves their truth and to have their record straight, because without that no one is in a position to help themselves.  I am also a strong believer that MH should be more open minded than they are.  Mental health is not like a broken leg.  You can't X-ray that and point to the break.  So much about diagnosing mental health issues is subjective, which really ought to have them perpetually open to re-examination.

Good luck with it and stay strong.  I am really feeling it for you here.  But there is hope.  Where MH get it wrong, this can and does get corrected and I think some professionals are beginning to develop some awareness that the two can be confused.

I like the idea of lining up the criteria for both, that might be a good place to start. Unfortunately the appointment is also telephone which might make it harder to articulate but if I write things down and read from a script it might help. My GP is genuinely understanding although I don't thinks she really gets neurodiversity, but that's not her fault if she's not had training.

I have a friend who thinks the EUPD diagnosis fits and found DBT helpful. I was also forced to do DBT for 3 years and it did nothing but confuse me and I actually found it quite traumatic. I've got so much trauma from MH services I don't want to ever get involved with them again but I have less than £10 in my savings account.