Hi all,
I'm 32, female, diagnosed with ADHD in October last year (which I fully agree with). I was also diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder 10 years ago, which I never have agreed with. But every time I've challenged it and/or asked for a 2nd opinion I've been told that it's the 'BPD talking' (I don't know what that means) and have always had it denied.
Anyway. I have a GP appointment booked for March 7th but I'm worried that I will immediately get shut down and am looking for advice. I had to fight for an ADHD diagnosis because the GP told me that they had been told to not refer any adults for any ADHD or autism diagnosis due to having a huge backlog. I managed to get a referral for ADHD through right to choose. My GP was reluctant to refer even though I was armed with evidence as to why I thought I'd had it.
I've been doing a lot of research lately on undiagnosed autism in adult women and see that a lot of women are often misdiagnosed with BPD. I never did relate to the diagnostic criteria when I was diagnosed and that's still the case. Looking back on my childhood and my adult life so far, ADHD and autism fit far more. I've always had difficulties with friends and have never understood how to socialise. I tagged along with other girls at school until they told me to go away because they didn't want to be friends with me. This happened so often and I never understood why. I was always (and still am) obsessed with celebrities which felt normal when I was 15 but at 32 does not feel 'normal'. I suck my thumb and twirl my hair in private. I always flick my fingers. I can't cope in supermarkets or on public transport. I am struggling to cope with noise and light. Small talk is painful.
I'm not sure how to approach this GP appointment. I am also willing to save for a private assessment, and am indeed expecting this to be my only option because of what I was told one year ago. Saving will take at least 2 years and I'm feeling really depressed because this is all impacting my ability to cope with day-to-day life at the moment. However I fear that I will also be refused an assessment based on the fact that I have an EUPD diagnosis, which has been used against me by medical professionals for far too long since I got diagnosed, and because I work full time so appear to be functioning.
Does anyone have any tips? I've experienced so much medical trauma and I'm so anxious about asking my GP. I'm thinking of just saving for a private assessment.
Sorry that ended up being a bit of a rant. I feel very alone right now.
