I've just spent time with in law family and it was really nice. I had a really nice time. But taxing. Too much going on all at once. Now I understand why I struggle. The sensory aspect. The cognitively processing conversations aspect. The wondering what expectations of me are aspect. The going inward into myself because there's too much to process but on the outside I probably just look a bit quiet aspect. I let it wash over me a bit and don't try as hard. I'm trying not to mask but even not masking takes work. It feels like all my synapses are firing and the momentum needs time to resettle. It's the same with work. It's the same with friends. But I love being around people. I've realised how much I enjoy to be around people but on my terms and its tiring. It's a double bind.
