Cleaning and tidying

Thing is, even these days, many people still cling on to the outdated misconceptions and myths that the only way to manage autism is by means of ultra strict and harsh discipline and that as part of this, that autistic people must never be permitted to live alone under any circumstances, except with a live in carer that is empowered to implement such strong and harsh measures - this comes from a point blank refusal to understand anything about mental health issues, like how so many autistic people are either over-medicated and/or locked away in mental hospitals “for their own good” - given all the horrific things that have come to light since Covid, I do not believe that we will ever see a more compassionate attitude towards mental health issues in general nor towards autism in particular in my lifetime nor do I believe that there will ever be a sea-change in the mindsets by medical professionals, as it will take many generations from now for this to truly happen - one would reasonably expect a more compassionate response in a supposedly civilised Christian society, but the reality is that it will never happen in our lifetimes 

I absolutely hate people touching my stuff and doing my things too. The earliest example I remember was in fifth grade when the art teacher colored part of my drawing without me knowing and I cried. So so infuriating for me when people do things like this. 

It sounds like you're dealing with a challenging situation. It's completely understandable to want your home cleaned to your standards, especially with a baby and a messy partner.
Have you considered hiring professional cleaners? They can use gentle, eco-friendly products and follow your instructions closely to ensure your belongings are respected. Commercial office cleaning specialists like North Kent Cleaning Services might be a good fit. They can tailor their services to meet your needs and give you peace of mind.
Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and finding a cleaning solution that works for you can reduce your stress levels.

Oh I totally understand you!  I do have a cleaner who comes once a week as I don't have the time to do it, but it drives me nuts.  I have to tidy up before she comes and then afterwards go around a fix all the stuff she has MOVED.   For no good reason, she just moves stuff!! 

But I have tried to re-focus on the fact that overall net impact she has is positive.   The place feels and looks much better afterwards, and so if there are few things to be put back in place, that's ok, it is worth it.  

When I was very young, my Mum used to have a nun come once a week to help with cleaning and once I had to throw out stuff out of my room that I wanted to keep because the nun said so - when I tried to protest the nun firmly slapped my wrist and threw them out anyway - when my Dad heard, I got a good hiding that night and was sent to bed with no supper and from that point on, I was closely watched to make sure that I was not hoarding “rubbish and dirt” as you only went to bed to sleep, access to everything was all through my room, toilet, heating, attic etc and every week, everything had to be thrown out, if I tried to object, I was slapped hard by Dad, as he believed that giving children a hard life with enforced poverty created strong adults, in the days when corporal punishment by parents in Ireland was normal 

I’m not sure bout how to deal with someone touching your stuff but a lot of cleaners these days will be used to people wanting to avoid chemicals. This is also a common worry with small babies around the house so they won’t be surprised i think. 

We had a cleaner when my daughter was young and she would use our stuff to clean with rather than bring in industrial bleach etc. Although that’s what our house needs right now!!

I live on my own (many people do not approve of this since my diagnosis) but I’m terribly lazy long before my diagnosis when in supermarkets and my new hotel job 

I don’t like having wet hands!  I like baths and swimming though…

Good idea, I didn’t think that I could just get one room cleaned!

Hi Vicky, I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm the same and would also probably feel like I had to tidy up and clean before they came to clean too!

You could consider having someone come to do some of the heavier cleaning for you where they don't really need to touch your stuff like cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming and mopping floors. If you find someone who is freelance/a micro-provider rather than through an agency they might be more flexible with you specifying how you want things done and use the cleaning products you provide/prefer. 

Yes, at least some of it is familiar (I think): e.g. when speaking to others, I sometimes describe strong smells as 'high-pitched' but they don't understand. I don't like having liquid on my hands either.