Inside our autistic minds! BBC2 @21:00 tonight 14/2/23
Chris Packham meets other autistic people from across the UK and helps them create short films to reveal to their family and friends what’s really going on inside their minds.
incase anybodies interested
I’ve thought about doing something similar but didn’t have the resources. Some of you know I was kicked out rather unfairly of a student club, actually I was kicked out twice, appealed once got back in then kicked out again, never been able to prove it but always believed it was essentially the same accusation.
one of my best friends was failing her exams, on course to loose her full scholarship, repeat the year or maybe worse get kicked out of uni. I was known as the weirdo with a lewd sense of humour. In fairness if I had the lewdest sense of humour in the group hers must have been a close runner up. It’s why we were such good friends.
so you can imagine what we used to talk about in person and online. It’s what probably made it so easy for her. When she needed an excuse for missing most of her lectures and failing her exams instead saying she was drinking her self unconscious with her boyfriend most afternoons she claimed it was the crushing stress from my supposed months of harassment that kept her from class and from focusing.
Show a few private messages from social media out of context, get a few of her mates to testify that I was known for telling the odd dirty joke (which in fairness I was) and bam instant credibility. Add in a compleat lack of due process from the student Union and you get a witch hunt.
that’s my story. I’ve often thought about telling it. But it wouldn’t fit in a 5-10 minute info video. I considered fictionalising it in a novel but it wouldn’t have the same impact. An animated story maybe. 30-60 minutes long if certain things are compressed and the order of events tweaked to help things fit in a shorter narrative. I could do it now, now the court case is over. Shame I lack the money / talent to actually make an animation happen.
shame because it might be rather healing. At least having people see it and getting a sense that people finally saw the whole thing from my point of view might be quite healing.
Thanks for the recommendation!
I would also like to recommend qwell.io for mental health support. It's instant chat messages on their online platform.
So pleased for you. I am a 53yo man and found out 3 years ago. I saw the show and cried as I 100% identified with the woman in the show, even if I am a man.
I am so pleased for you! Take time to process this life changing discovery, we are here for you!
Chris Packham's documentary has profoundly changed my life...I am a 61 year old woman who has spent my entire life unwittingly upsetting people and not knowing why. I have now discovered that I am a text book case and don't need an official diagnosis. It's as though a massive piece of a jigsaw puzzle has fallen into place! The relief is indescribable.
Thanks, i'll try to stay awake ling enough to watch that.
So many things can only be done by phone and it causes huge problems for me.
That must be really frustrating for you, there should be a variety of communication methods used for services and other things to suit all communication styles and preferences.
There is a real lack of understanding over this. Almost all support and crisis services operate by phone. When I have been under extreme stress the last thing I wanted or was able to do was speak!
Exactly! It makes no sense that crisis services expect you to use the phone when you are at your most vulnerable, I do know of one service that operates by text. In case you are interested, it is called Shout:
I prefer email too in most situations, it gives me the extra time I need to consider what to say.
This is exactly what I like about email.
I would like to find out more about AAC devices and apps at some point.
Good idea, I have a text to speech app on my phone in case I need it:
There are lots of AAC apps available on the App Store.
I recommend Grid, it has lots of different features and you can personalise to just use a keyboard instead of symbols:
The website above may help you with your research.
I understand your point about a subset of autistic experience, but shouldn’t it just be more universally understood that we have preferences over how we communicate and that our ability to use speech can be unreliable/variable depending on our environment and energy used?
I totally agree that our communication preferences and the variability of them should be better understood and respected. So many things can only be done by phone and it causes huge problems for me.
Unfortunately people do not understand and in many cases are not willing to make reasonable adjustments. That's why I thought maybe a subset might make it easier for others to understand.
I think there needs to be more understanding that speech is a motor skill and that for us as autistic people it is commonly one of the first abilities we lose when under significant stress.
There is a real lack of understanding over this. Almost all support and crisis services operate by phone. When I have been under extreme stress the last thing I wanted or was able to do was speak!
Which other communication styles would you use? I really like email.
I prefer email too in most situations, it gives me the extra time I need to consider what to say. Online live chat communication can be useful sometimes and much quicker than email.
I would like to find out more about AAC devices and apps at some point.
You are very welcome. I am glad our autistic community has had a such a positive impact on you, this space has been and continues to be a hugely beneficial and positive space for me too. I finally feel connected to my own autistic tribe, and it's great!
Thank you 
I have felt very isolated my entire life but definitely feel a greater sense of belonging now. Everyone has been very friendly and supportive and I feel at home here
I understand what you mean, speech is very overrated.
I understand your point about a subset of autistic experience, but shouldn’t it just be more universally understood that we have preferences over how we communicate and that our ability to use speech can be unreliable/variable depending on our environment and energy used?
I think there needs to be more understanding that speech is a motor skill and that for us as autistic people it is commonly one of the first abilities we lose when under significant stress. Also I think there needs to be more understanding of how complex language processing is.
Sometimes I think that I could happily live out the rest of my life without ever speaking again!
Which other communication styles would you use? I really like email.
I think semi speaking or something similar should be recognised as a subset within autism. The distinction between verbal and non verbal is not clear. I believe some of us inhabit a sort of middle ground between them.
I am like you. I can speak but I also have times when I become non speaking. To me speaking is something which I only do if I have to and if there are no other more suitable communication methods in the situation.
I do not find speaking enjoyable. It is always an effort. Sometimes I think that I could happily live out the rest of my life without ever speaking again!
it feels like i've spent most of my life alone in my head
I am sorry you have felt like this, I hope you feel connected (particularly in this community) and a better sense of belonging now. Must have been a really isolating experience for you.
We are here for you! If you ever feel alone, know that you are always welcome and are able to heard in this autistic community.
Unlike Murray I am a speaking autistic person, however I understand what it is like to experience periods of being non speaking. Maybe I am semi speaking? (No need to answer.) I am also a very deep thinker like Murray states in his film.
I am really interested in diversity of communication (AAC - Alternative and Augmentative Communication) because I know from experience and am passionate about the fact that speech is not the gold standard and that behaviour is communication.
Same here, although unlike Murray i can speak it feels like i've spent most of my life alone in my head
I really enjoyed Murray’s film too, particularly the part about being a deep thinker! I loved his film!
Watching now, I really like Flo’s film. So emotional!
