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I want to see if I can find support for helping me explain my aspergers to my parents but...

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if I do do this, the support person wouldn't reccomend my parents to force me to do anything I don't want to do right? Like when I finish work everyday, my plan/routine is exactly have a bath, eat dinner and go on the computer, play games all night doing nothing else in order to keep my stress and anxiety levels down otherwise I would have a meltdown or I would be very annoyed and angry if I get disturbed or if I have to do any more work for the day.

This is mainly because if I do have to do more work, I think to myself I have done enough work for the day since I work for 5 days everyday is 7 hours work! I just want the support person to explain to my parents why I need the time aloine to do my hobbies for a very long period of time and also why I don't talk to them at all, it's because they don't understand me! I thought if the support person explained all this to my parents, they would actually know how to care for me better and understand me more and actually know what types of behaviour they need to be with me just like my workplace, they show that they care, are always there to support me and to reduce my worries and make everything as easy and clear as possible for me to understand.

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  • Hi Hawk - I can understand you wanting to wind down after work. I'm an NT but I always felt the same when I got home.  I needed a break from the daily grind before I became more social later on (but only about an hour in my case).  Can I say, as an NT, that if you go ahead with this, then the support worker must be excellent at being able to get your message(s) across to your parents.  It is a complicated situation and their reactions may not be the ones you want. They could be upset that you asked a support worker to speak on your behalf, for example, rather than you speaking or writing to them directly.    They will have their own opinions on the points the support worker makes on your behalf.  I don't know anything about you and your parents so cannot advise in any detail.  If they don't understand how autism affects you by now, then they are unlikely to understand to any great extent from having a conversation with the support worker.  Have you a support worker who's willing to do this for you?  From your post you are able to get your general message across about what you want from your parents to make your home life more suitable to your needs.   Have you thought about expanding your thoughts on this a bit more, typing it up and giving it to the support worker so the 2 of you can discuss prior to any discussion with your parents?  However, bear in mind the opinions of your parents may be different from what you want to achieve, so you need to be prepared for that.  You need to weigh up your chances of success and how to go about achieving that success.  You'll want to get a positive result so maybe a support worker/advocate is the right way to go about it.  It's getting the best person for the job, bearing in mind the outcome you desire may possibly not be achievable.  As an NT, if a support worker spoke to me on behalf of my son I would have loads of questions and opinions.  I could possibly have a different opinon from my son on how I expected home life to be  I would definitely still want to talk to my son about my conversation with the support worker.  What you are trying to achieve is complicated so bear that in mind as you consider how to proceed.  I do understand how important it is to be able to express your needs to your parents so that home life is more suitable to your personality.

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  • Hi Hawk - I can understand you wanting to wind down after work. I'm an NT but I always felt the same when I got home.  I needed a break from the daily grind before I became more social later on (but only about an hour in my case).  Can I say, as an NT, that if you go ahead with this, then the support worker must be excellent at being able to get your message(s) across to your parents.  It is a complicated situation and their reactions may not be the ones you want. They could be upset that you asked a support worker to speak on your behalf, for example, rather than you speaking or writing to them directly.    They will have their own opinions on the points the support worker makes on your behalf.  I don't know anything about you and your parents so cannot advise in any detail.  If they don't understand how autism affects you by now, then they are unlikely to understand to any great extent from having a conversation with the support worker.  Have you a support worker who's willing to do this for you?  From your post you are able to get your general message across about what you want from your parents to make your home life more suitable to your needs.   Have you thought about expanding your thoughts on this a bit more, typing it up and giving it to the support worker so the 2 of you can discuss prior to any discussion with your parents?  However, bear in mind the opinions of your parents may be different from what you want to achieve, so you need to be prepared for that.  You need to weigh up your chances of success and how to go about achieving that success.  You'll want to get a positive result so maybe a support worker/advocate is the right way to go about it.  It's getting the best person for the job, bearing in mind the outcome you desire may possibly not be achievable.  As an NT, if a support worker spoke to me on behalf of my son I would have loads of questions and opinions.  I could possibly have a different opinon from my son on how I expected home life to be  I would definitely still want to talk to my son about my conversation with the support worker.  What you are trying to achieve is complicated so bear that in mind as you consider how to proceed.  I do understand how important it is to be able to express your needs to your parents so that home life is more suitable to your personality.

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