A Bit Of Confusion

The standard approaches to treating anxiety all made mine worse. Particularly the idea that if you keep doing something it'll gradually get less scary. That always had the opposite effect for me.

Some things that help.

1. Arranging my life so it meets my needs as an autistic person. When I have a stable routine, plenty of solitude,a regular schedule for food and sleep, protection from sensory overload (I recently bought ear defenders and they make existing in public so much easier) and time to engage in my special interests, I exist in a much calmer state. From that baseline I'm more able to deal with anything stressful that arises.

2. Exercise. Before I realised I was autistic, daily exercise is what switched anxiety from being a constant state affecting every minute of every day to something that arose in particular situations. I was still anxious a lot of the time, but during and after exercise I would get a break from it. I like to keep things simple by walking or jogging in the park.

3. Planning and preparation. It is normal, natural, and healthy to be anxious about something happening if you have no idea how you would handle it. I've managed particular fears by making a written plan in advance for what I should do if the thing I'm scared of happens. This gets rid of the need to make decisions while stressed, as you can just follow the plan. I also find it helps to be prepared: e.g. having stockpiles of medication or essential foodstuffs so I don't panic if something is out of stock for a bit. NTs think this is weird behaviour. F*** them. If it helps it helps.

4. Listening to my emotions and leaving a situation if I feel uncomfortable. A lot of anxiety resources advise the opposite, that you should push through anxiety and stay in a situation until it abates. Maybe that's how a neurotypical brain works, but mine is perfectly capable of existing in a state of utter panic for multiple hours at a time, and forcing it to remain in that state means that going into the same situation in future will be much more difficult.

5. Never blocking out negative thoughts. They're usually telling me something important. I might decide to not act on the thought immediately but I still acknowledge it (eg internal dialogue "I want to go home." "I know you want to go home but I'm just going to do this first. Then straight home.") Noticing when I have a lot of those thoughts and scheduling fewer activities and more downtime because that's what my mind is telling me it needs.

Thank you HP35,

That sounds really helpful. I'm still trying to live as NT, and wondering why everything is getting harder and not easier. I need to change my thinking, and then plan what I need and when. Thank you.

Thank you HP35,

That sounds really helpful. I'm still trying to live as NT, and wondering why everything is getting harder and not easier. I need to change my thinking, and then plan what I need and when. Thank you.